One day Diluc was chilling at the tavern
Kaeya walks in and Diluc can smell his feet. They smell like caramel and mint sock juice. You see he is not wearing his eye patch. In place of his eyepatch is a condom. Diluc seems to notice this aswell. He stands Infront of you as if he is protecting you from drunk kaeya and his condom eyeball. Kaeya says he's on his period and needs pads to wipe his bum.
You realise there are piss stains on his top and crunchy dried poo on his hands. He didn't wash them. "WASH YOUR HANDS YOU DIRTY PIG" you screech. "I DIDNT DO A POO... I was crying" he says
You wonder how he got piss stains and dry caca on him but don't question it. You go to hug him but you immidiately jump away when he steps on your toe. You ask why he stepped on your toe and he said because Diluc has a toe kink and your dogs should forever be contained, for they are too beautiful for Diluc to lay his eyes on. You turn around and Diluc is gone.
You feel something wet on your toe and Diluc is sniffing it with wet nostrils. He says your toe isn't hairy. A good observation you think, as you shaved that one toe Yesterday. Kaeya looks disgusted and shoved his heel up DILUCS bumhole and you don't want to see what happens next so you and paimon run away on your grasy uncontained dogs.
You hear a splat and DILUCS hair flies out the window along with kaeyas shoe. You run back inside concerned. You see Diluc has a bra on and it's barely holding back his big juicy Tatas. You look over to kaeya and his bright pink g strong with his juicy arse hanging out.
You realise they are strippers. If all makes sense now, the money the poles, the golden toe rings they give to you on the daily, now you understand. So that's where albedo dissapears off to every night, to watch kaeya pole dance. You strut away knowing you've figured it all out, but then you fall over and die.
Enjoy.
