❤️TW: rap3, $elf h4rm, abu$3, f3t1$h3s❤️
First things first I just found out that my ex is lying about me on here, but its whatever. I don't know what I ever saw in them. My friends told me that she wasn't the one but I ignored them. I should have known something was up when she described *in detail* to me her rape fetish and asked me if I had ever considered CNC (consentual non-concent). I said no, I hadn't but I was willing to try anything once. It wasn't my cup of tea but she still insisted on it whenever we were together alone. Even after all of this, it still feels like it's somehow my fault. I feel like it wasn't rape because we were in a relationship. Even when I said no at first they kept pressing me to do stuff with them until I said yes. I said yes so it's not rape right? Sure.
Every time I would say no they would threaten me with self harm. The one time that I tried to stand my ground the left and returned with cuts all over their arms and told me "this is all your fault. Im gonna tell everyone that you tild me to do this unless you have sex with me." I wanted to die. I still don't feel the same. I haven't gotten into a relationship since and we broke up almost a year ago. I've been working on myself but I'm still scared that their gonna come back into my life and it will start all over again.
Another thing, I an an age regressor (strictly SFW) and they sexulized me every time I was little with them. It was incredibly uncomfortable and I wish I had broken up with them instead of waiting for them to cheat on me and dump me. I'm so upset with them even thinking about this. They cheated on me with a fuck boy and then got mad at me when he dumped them. Their reasoning was "i wouldn'thave cheated on you if we had sex the way i wanted"
It feels like they were just using me. Like they didn't care about love or my feelings or anything but sex.
