"an intense and irresistible desire for freedom"
~-~-~-~-~
When Eliana was 5 her family was betrayed by the people she now knows as family. But she quickly learned that family is just a word, not a promise and that a house doesn't mean a home.
Fam...
"I was a fighter but every time they came close I froze"
TW: Abuse
Starts and ends with: ***
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It's now a bit after 3 am and i'm on my way to the house.
Hopefully they are still asleep when I get there because it would make my life so much easier.
I've been stuck inside my head, blue eyes flashing behind my eyelids every time I blink. Questions like why? and where? circle in my mind as I try to place the recognition that I know I saw.
Why do I recognize those eyes?
Why do I recognize him?
Where have I seen them before?
Are some of the questions but the most prominent one that's bugging me the most and makes me want to reach into my brain and bring out the memories I need in order to solve this is;
Why can't I remember?
I want to cry because of how frustrating it is to not remember something.
My memory isn't normally bad.
Maybe Roxy actually managed to get a good hit in because I feel like i'm losing braincells from just thinking and it's making my head spin because I can't remember.
I can't remember anything.
"Ugh!" I frustratingly scream out as I throw my bag down on the ground in front of me and start pacing back and forth trying to remember.
Trying to remember anything.
Trying to remember something.
When nothing comes to my mind I slump down on the ground exhausted and lean against a brick wall off a building only a block from where my mattress is.
I bring my knees up towards my chest and place my elbows on them as I put my head in my hands lacing my fingers through my hair at my scalp that I took out of the braids earlier and is now in a messy bun.
I tug at my dark brown hair in hope of the pain bringing out lost memories. Memories that once was here but now has faded into a distant image of blue eyes.
Multiple pairs of blue eyes.
One face, the face that I saw in the crowd today being the only one that isn't blurred in the ocean of blue that is slowly flooding my memory.
After a long time of just sitting thinking, trying to remember where I recognizes the boy with the blue eyes from, where the memory of multiple blue eyes comes from and how deep the blue ocean of eyes is hidden within the confines of my mind I finally stand up mentally exhausted.
