Our Anger (y/n x Vance Hopper)

Smoke Buddy(02)

There's nothing more boring than being a clerk at Grab N' Go. Nobody comes in here besides middle schoolers and high schoolers and even when they do they usually just play pinball. I mean, at least it pays good money.

I pulled a cigarette out of the box in my back pocket and lit it with my lighter. I feel like I either look like a single teen mom or just a kid that gave up on life. I guess I'm one of those. Like I've said before if you go to Denver you're stuck and you shouldn't expect to get out. You either become a white trash loser or an asshole that works in law. If not those, then some variation that's similar to that. It's easy to tell what people will turn out to be.

Finney, asshole-in-law. Gwen, asshole in-law. Everyone in this store right now is a white trash loser.

There's no hope for me anymore. I always wanted to go to New York and be a writer or an actress, instead, I'm stuck being a clerk at some old ass store.

I'll probably end up dead by twenty-three. Either a robbery and my dumbass just stands there and doesn't move or I fight back or I'll probably just give up and go on my terms. It's not like I haven't tried yet. Nobody noticed. It was last year, right before I dropped out of school. I was in the school bathroom and these girls cornered me and made me throw up my food or else they were going to get their boyfriends to go beat up Finney after school. After that, I tied my shoelaces together and hung myself in the bathroom. Only the girl who came into the bathroom and found me and my family know. Only my family noticed something was wrong and even then it was ignored because I was going through a "phase".

They looked at me like I was a monster when they found out. So, I became a monster after that. I became more violent than I already was and dropped out. That's when I found drugs and boys. I abused my body. I had guys over multiple times a week to fuck and smoke with. It wasn't a great time and I'm not proud of who I was.

Vance Hopper was one of those guys. That's most likely why he mainly stopped bullying me, but it died down a few weeks before I dropped out. We never had sex, we just smoked together and we made out a few times but it didn't mean anything. It didn't mean anything to him.

I glanced over at Vance, maybe there was one thing I was proud of. Vance and I were close for a month, maybe a bit longer. I told him all my problems from my dad to the bullying and how it affected me. We stopped talking because we got into a fistfight over the fact that I didn't think he was sorry he hurt me so much. It's engraved in my mind and always will be.
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"It just hurt so much. The physical bullying didn't get to me but the constant emotional abuse got to me. What they said about my mom and my family ruined me. The things I got called made me want to throw up. I wish I had the guts to stand up for myself and stop it.", I let a tear roll down my cheek.

Before it could get very far I felt Vance thumb it away, "It's okay, don't cry. You fought through those bitches and they didn't get what they wanted. They didn't do what they wanted"

Vance passed me the joint and laid back down on my bed, "They got what they wanted! For me to be a coward and take all of their shit!"

Vance lightly hit my thigh, "You're not a coward, that's what they want you to think. They wanted to make you give up and you didn't. The girls thought you'd give up completely but did you? No. No, you didn't."

I gave Vance a look and passed him the joint, "I did give up though. When they left that bathroom I tried to kill myself."

"Well before that you didn't give up for a while, people get to their breaking points. Don't think about it, Dollie. Come lay down with me.", Vance held his arm out.

I couldn't help but accept his offer, even though I didn't mean anything to him it was still comforting. He's made it clear I'm just a smoke buddy and make-out buddy.

I looked up at his sapphire blue eyes and he ruffled my hair a bit, "See? This is better than that worrying stuff."

"Well this is better than your angry Vance stuff.", I playfully raised my brows.

Vance rolled his eyes at me, "Whatever. Enjoy it while it lasts, I have to leave at 4:00 to go hang out with Mike and Lori."

"Why? I thought Lori's mad at you because you're with me.", I grabbed a handful of Vance's hair and began playing with it.

He gave me a puzzled look, "Well, I'm not with you. We're not a thing, just a bit of fun y/n.", I nodded, "I mean you're a cool girl and all but you know..."

Now I was confused, "I know what?"

I sat up so, feeling my blood boil a bit, "Well, we can't be a thing."

"Why couldn't we?", I snapped.

Vance scoffed, "You can't be serious. I used to bully the shit out of you! My friends don't like you and for a lot of other reasons."

I got off the bed and crossed my arms, "Okay, and? Why is it so bad if your friends don't like me? Are you embarrassed by me Vance?! Are you embarrassed because I'm what all those girls and you said I am?!", I found myself screaming at him.

Vance now stood up, "You know that's not what I meant y/n! I'm sorry for bullying you, okay? I am. I've told you that I am!"

"No, you're not sorry. All you did was hurt me when I begged you to stop! Why are you like this Vance?! I'm here with you, letting you in my house, making out with you, and letting you smoke my shit and you don't even care about me! Why don't you care Vance?! What did I do wrong?!", Vance took a step closer to me so that he was towering over me.

"Don't fucking start! I am sorry and I'm the one who's sitting here and comforting you while you cry! Get your shit in check, you're acting like there's something wrong with you in your mind! Before you come crawling back to me fix it.", Vance started to back away from me, probably getting ready to leave.

My heart hurt and wanted to hurt. It wanted to hurt Vance. Fuck it. I swung at Vance and hit him directly on the cheekbone.

He felt it, he looked shocked. I saw the anger rise in him and before I could even think he'd hit me back he grabbed my hair and pushed me down on my bed. I screamed, getting all sorts of flashbacks. Vance pinned me down and started punching me.

I waited for the right moment and managed to punch him right in the throat, so hard that he had to get off of me to try and breathe. I grabbed the concrete ashtray next to me and slammed it into the side of Vance's head.

"Get out of my fucking house!", I yelled.

Vance looked at me with pure hatred and grabbed his shit and left without another word.
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I saw a side of Vance that I never thought I'd see. A side of Vance that cared even though it wasn't much. I wish we were close like that again.

I heard the bell ring, telling me someone walked into the store. I looked over to the door.

Oh shit...
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word count: 1358