As Eli sat on the bench near the court, he watched as Amanda spoke and laughed with her friends, as if she had done nothing wrong. What a monster.
Seeing her face always brought him back two years ago. He had hated himself for being so naive to believe her, believe she actually had cared for him as much as he had cared for her. He hated himself for telling his secrets. He hated himself for being so dumb. He hated her for telling the world who--what he was. He hated her for betraying him for breaking any trust he had in people. And he hated life for being so cruel. So unfair. So..miserable.
He sighed, his dust brown hair brushed against his tired pale skin. His eyes dark, black almost. He looked down at his arm, which had attained a new scratch, thankfully this time not from one of those jerks, but instead from a startled alley cat he had met earlier this morning. While on his long walk to school, he had seen some all to familiar faces. So, to be safe, he took the alleyways. There, he found a cute baby cat walking stiffly to him. As adorable as it was, he didn't want to be a father. When Eli attempted to pet the little dirty kitten, he was met with an anxious mother attacking him arm. Startled by her sudden appearance, he fell back. Knowing he wasn't welcome, he decided it best to leave, though he plans to take a trip back to the alley to deliver food to the pair.
He smiled slightly to himself, remembering the courage the mother had as she protected her kitten. He wondered how it felt. To be protected and cared for from the harsh world sounded like a sweet dream. In his reality, family didn't exist, and neither did friends. Comfort didn't exist, and neither did home. As lonely as it got at times, there was still hope that one day things would get better. That's what they say, right?
Two years ago, he thought the way out of this dark, endless tunnel had found itself to him, through a girl: Amanda. A foul word, really. The name alone enraged him. She had fooled him. Made a fool of him. And he would never forgive that. More than he blamed her, he blamed himself. He blamed himself. If he had just kept to himself, none of that would have happened. He was just as much to blame as she was, as they were, as life was.
The sound of the bell was unpleasant. It sounded like a fire alarm or someone screeching - whatever the case, it was annoying. He dusted his dirtied black shirt and loose denim jeans as the other kids passed. And like a ghost, he waited. He always waited. Until everyone left.
