Love is strange [Completed]

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟙

'Homo' – thoughts
"help"- talking
[milkers]- notes
(:0) – notes

Warning: blood/abuse/self-doubt/suicide/cursing

|Sanzu POV|

'Fuck this is hurts'

I thought while I was trying to stop the blood that was rushing out of the deep cut that was on my chest, I hissed in pain well I watched the cloth getting soaked in my blood. I look in the mirror as I saw my body filled with bruises, scars new or old I looked at my face and saw the two diamond shaped scars on both side of my mouth.

I frown then my eyes move up to my usual long soft pink hair but right now it looked messy and knotty it was 5 am which means I have to get ready quickly, so I don't get seen looking like this or else my so-called brother will throw a tantrum like honesty it's like he has a huge fucking stick up his ass he's always complaining about shit and places the blame on me for his own shit and Senju's and it pisses me off.

I left my bedroom and walked to the bathroom to have a shower. I walked inside and locked the door behind me, then I started taking my clothes off. I threw the soggy blood stain cloth near the dirty pile. I turned the shower on and waited till it was the perfect temperature, I hoped into the water I hissed in pain when my cuts were being touched from the warm water, I got over it a bit later. I then just let the water run down my body as I ran a hand through my hair well I wash it and made sure to clean my hair properly. Once I had finished, I look in the mirror and saw the tattoo that was on my back and went across to my arms.

I then went into deep thoughts all I could think about was being able to die and finally be free from this cursed life. I stared to think about all the ways I could kill myself overdose, hanging myself, cut till I die from low blood, drowning, wild animal, jumping from high places, stabbing myself, piss off rich people so they hire people to kill me, my mind was rushing with ways to kill myself. I was shaking a bit not because I was scared but the fact It was from excitement I was smiling.

But it soon dropped snice I couldn't I just couldn't bring myself to because of my mother her last words to me before dying in my arms.

-Flashback-

"My...l-little lotus.. I'm sorry... I couldn't.. get...you...that gift you always wanted... instead have this" she took of her necklace and placed it into my small hands which were covered in her blood, she was in my arms bleeding quickly she had big sharp claw shaped into her she protected me from a wild animal she had teary eyes but did not cry while I was crying my eyes out "haru...I want you to...wear that...once you hit 17...and search for place.. jiyuu but...no one can know unless they have hit 17... and wearing this necklace" she gripped onto my hand "don't..tell.anyone..else..not your brother...sister...or your father...my little haru...live a long life...I...l.o..v..e..y..o...u" she smiled while she has died right in his arm a child who was barely 5 had lost his mother in his arms the only person who truly cared about him.

-flashback ended-

I stopped thinking about that horrible memory and looked around 'right I'm in the shower' I had gotten out and dried myself while staring into the mirror I have always hated how I looked, the only pretty things about me was probably my eyes while that's what most people say anyway. Everything else was terrible, I looked really fem, but I did have muscles and abs though, so I was leaner but had a muscular build mix, because my brother had put me in martial arts to keep me out the house and to not be such a girl and to act more manly. I looked at my ugly body which had scars, bruises all over I felt disgusted but what really made me Sick of myself even more was the scars on my face. They were given to me when I was 6 couple of months after my mother's death.

My sister had broken one of my best friend's favourite toys, which was a plane that he worked hard on to build and had been given from his older brother as a birthday gift, we were all given a rule Do. Not. Touch. It but obviously someone didn't listen to him she had to be the one who broke it well playing with the plane and what did she do? she lied and blamed it on me. She should have just not touched the fucking plane but of course as always I had to pay for her mistakes. Next thing I knew I had my mouth coved with my hand I didn't know what was going on blood kept coming out from my mouth and checks

"Laugh Haruchiyo" he said I looked at him trying to not scream I forced myself to laugh while I looked at him "smile Haruchiyo" I smiled with teary eyes

My sister was shocked it looked like a murder scene after that day I looked at him with dull eyes and walked to him "slap" was heard the boy in front was shocked that the pink haired male had slapped him "Mikey. Why?" the blonde in front was confused on the question "because you broke the plan, and you knew how important it was to me" I looked at him in confusion "what?" now Mikey was confused "I wasn't at the house I went to get drinks" I held up the bag. That's when Mikey stomach dropped "b-but S-senju s-said you broke it" he whispered but loud enough for all of them to hear. And after that was history, I was banned to hang out with them.

I walked out the bathroom and cooked breakfast for everyone and ate mine quickly and rushed into my room till I felt my arm being pulled from someone I looked around and saw my brother my stomach dropped. He pushed me against the wall and punch my in the ribs I grunt "who said you could eat" he said in a loud, clear, demanding voice I started to shake "n-no one" I was thrown against a another wall I hissed in pain "you're fucking brat you're a bad influence on the family name"

'I know'

"You worthless shit"

'I know'

"Honestly do this family and everyone a favour and kill yourself"

'Maybe I should'

"Its your fault that My mum is dead!"

He said, I watched him walk away once he was out of sight, I picked myself up and walk to the bathroom and bandaged any opened wounds that had open once I got thrown against the wall 'it's my birthday tomorrow which means I can wear that necklace mum said I could' I softly smiled when I thought of my mum. I walked into my room and started to read for a while then got bored so I did some painting as I waited for everyone to leave so then I can clean then have a bit of free time before I have to make dinner then I would have showers and sleep and wait till my birthday.