Trying So Hard To Get Over You [BXB]

4

Nik's POV
A year and a half later

I walk into work at this cute little coffee shop on campus I work at. I say hi to people as I go in. The ones that say hi to me anyway.

I'm a sophomore in college now and I never see Miles anymore. I'll walk by him every now and again and I'll hear every single girl in this godamn university talk about him. Its like he's had sex with all of them. He's so good in bed, I'll be honest. I didn't stop talking about it either and he only was with a girl once before me. He's just good at everything I guess and I'm salty.

I just can't stop thinking about him. It's dumb, I know. I still love him. Whenever I see him, he just gets hotter. I haven't had sex since I had sex with him, literally two and a half years ago.

I try to avoid him nowadays in my long process of getting over him. I just can't seem to shake him though.

My boss comes in saying "why is there wine in the walk in?" I say "book club" serving customers and he says "I don't want to hear about it." I chuckle saying "alright."

All my friends are getting together tonight and were going to talk about random things and drink wine. Its easy just to gather here after closing instead of crowding in someones dorm room. It would probably be mine because out of all of us, I'm the only one thats friends with my roommate.

I finish up my shift and as I start cleaning and shutting down, my friends start coming in, and they all sit around. They all move tables and chairs and whatnot. I say "does anyone need cold brew before I completely shut it down and clean it?" I get a few no's and others shake their heads. I smile saying "alright" and I sit down after getting everything done.

Janna says "have you found a boyfriend yet?" I say "no, I don't have time for it." I'm still in love with my high school boyfriend as a sophomore in college. She says "yes, you do. Come on? No coffee shop dwellers?" I say "first of all, not my type. Second of all, do I though?" Taylor says "then what is your type?"

Right on cue, I hear the door slam open. I look over and I get up when I see Miles. He says "it's fricking cold out there, man. Anyway, can I talk to you for a second?" He rubs his hands together slowly, letting me know he's nervous. One of my friends go over to him and I say "I got it, sit down" tiredly.

I get up and I say "I just worked a part time shift, did four hours of homework, with two more hours to go, then now I'm here. I'm at my breaking point right now, Miles. Like lots of crying breaking point. What do you want?" Miles says "do I not get a hello?" You're supposed to be the nice one." I say "can I get you a drink?" He says "after cleaning all the machines? You must really love me."

I do.

I say "don't even mention love to me, Miles."

Janna says "why are you being so bitchy?! Leave Miles alone, Nik" rolling her eyes. Miles says "I'd recommend you shut up before he explodes. That's not something you'd want to be here for."

I hand Miles an ice coffee mumbling "don't pay for it, the boss will never know."

He smiles and I say "smart idea. I will kill you, Janna." Janna says "slow down, buster. How do you even know this guy?! I haven't even seen you talk to him once?"

I say "I'm at the end of my straw with everyone on this planet, so if you could just stop talking for a minute. I'd greatly appreciate it."

Miles says "I came here to talk to you about something. I'm not here just to bug you." I say "do enlighten me, Miles" as I wipe down the machine, avoiding eye contact with him. If I make eye contact its game over for me. I'm just gonna fall apart.

Miles says "are you done avoiding me yet?" I say "I'm not avoiding you, I'm doing my job." He says "you are avoiding me! Look at me."

I say "you better not come in here just to fucking yell at me. Go yell at your fucking ex girlfriends if you need someone to yell at. See the fucking door, Miles" rolling my eyes.

He quietly says "I'm not here to yell at you, Nikki." I say "what are you here for then?!" Miles quietly says "just breathe" looking at me.

I say "I wish I could stop! All I do is breathe like an iron lung! I have no fucking purpose without you! Like whats the point?! I thought we were going to be forever! I loved you and I still do, Miles! I know you didn't break up with me because it wasn't right, it was wrong, and that we would just never work."

Miles says "I was scared, ok?! I thought you were better than me and I still do! I never thought I'd be at this stupid university cause I'm the dumbest guy I know! I barely passed algebra one after taking it twice! I never thought I'd get here and I didn't want school to be the reason we split. I wanted to do it myself. I didn't want to tell you that I was scared to be away from you. And making it here and you letting me say these things to you is a fucking miracle" tears streaming down his cheeks.

I say "Miles" quietly.

"Do you think about me as much as I think about you?"

Miles said those words to me on our first date. Those words just trigger all the memories I have with him that I forgot about more and more as time went on.

I love this boy and his gorgeous eyes and shaggy hair so much more than I thought I did before.

Those words remind me of how much I need this boy.