Re: Zero: A Hell of His Own Making

Found within the deepest reaches of the Mind

His eyes were stuck, as if frozen solid, his muscles still tense from overwhelming anxiety.

But those eyes would shed no tears, not a single droplet would dare to manifest itself, not one single emotion would shine through his shock-sown veil of apathy.

"I'm back at the beginning of this day..."

His mind's voice echoed, stating what was a now obvious, undeniable fact, a thought that was perhaps moved by inner impulse, maybe to quell the incoming surge of tension.

The boy's psyche, to the best of what little of its capability remained at that moment, braced itself for being once again swarmed by those voracious, loathsome thoughts.

Thoughts that invoked imagery not unlike what he had seen back in the Sanctuary.

His mind was made to picture his closest companions, gathered around his lifeless body on a bloodstained floor, crying, panicking and screaming, begging to have their knight, their hero, back into their lives, but to no avail.

He could picture each and every one of their faces, tears abound from their eyes.

He could almost feel Emilia and Beatrice's arms tightly wrapped around the husk that was his corpse.

He could hear their voices, feel their pain, the crushing weight of it all on his soul.

No matter how far from the reality he was now in, it felt as if they were still in there, like ghosts haunting the site of a tragedy.

Finally, his body shivered, his throat produced a slight grunt of distress, barely audible.

And as if on cue, he felt something true and tangible, rather than a diabolical byproduct of his addled mind.

A familiar sensation, but unlike many others in this tale, this one came to calm, to soothe, to comfort.

The sensation of his spirit and confidant's arms gently wrapped around him, the soft palms and fingertips of her lithe hands sweeping away at the stress that ailed her contractor's senses with each movement.

It was, in all due likelihood, this gesture of genuine kindness which caused him to, at long last, breathe a sigh of relief.

"...I'm sorry, Beako, I am so, so sorry, I-"

His words of apology were cut short by one of the aforementioned fingertips being placed at barely an inch away from his lips.

"Betty may not know what exactly might be going on through your head, but that does not mean she won't try her best for her foolish contractor, so what I ask of you is less apologies and more rest for your tired mind and body, I suppose!"

It took Subaru a few good seconds to fully take in what had just been said to him.

After the last of these seconds, his body had finally let go of most of the enshrouding tension, causing him to close his eyes and take in the rare moment of calm.

Calm, something that had been missing from his mind, body and soul for quite a while now.

Perhaps, calm was exactly what he needed.

Perhaps, some time outside the cogs of his daily routines were what he required to take a look at the machine in its entirety.

Perhaps, through that perspective, he might be able to gather his fortitude back into proper shape.

But what then?

What would he do after that?

Would he simply continue onward following the very same pattern which, so far, had inevitably led him into that dreaded downward spiral, but at the same time allowed him to maintain a facade that would only display cracks when under intense and specific circumstances?