Lost Soul

5

I woke up to my earbuds still playing my phone on 1% and dried blood on my wrists..why do I have to be like this? Why can't I be normal i thought to myself. I rolled over to check the clock and it was 7:40am I had 10 mins to get ready damn it.

I scraped my hair back into a bun chucked a few pens in my blazer and grabbed my tie. Skipped my breakfast too fast for that and stood at the bustop. Hopped on the bus and sat down whilst listening to my music. As I got off I was greeted nicely by safeguarding considering yesterday.

I made it to form sat at the back as usual so I don't have to answer anything. Plonked my bag down and put my head on the desk. There was a knock at the door "can I have y/n please" oh god not this again I thought.

I grabbed my bag made sure my sleeves were down and dragged my feet to pupil support whilst looking shit. Managed to get another lecture of course they were "checking if I was ok" absolute rubbish that is. I lied to them every single time I just wanna go back to hiding everything it was way easier then.

Break came and I sat down at the wall stuck my earbuds in and listened to my music whilst curled up in a ball. I honestly cannot wait for this day to be over its a living nightmare.

After lunch I had English i hate English now. Ofc the teacher had to check on me. After r conversation I asked to go to the bathroom I didn't actually need to go I just needed to get rid of the guilt.

When i got there I kneeled down pulled the lid up and stuck my fingers in the back of my throat until I threw up it eventually worked after a few tries. Quite amazing how no one heard I sure don't gag quietly.

Went back to the classroom and got through English and then walked out got on the bus as usual and when I got home I crawled into my bed I felt quite dizzy.
I started feeling really faint and I remembered I'd purged this is probably why I feel like this. I woke up huh? Oh shoot I must've fainted oh well atleast I won't be fat.

Mh gc
🟥New snap

Yk what I'm fed up of this gc I'm leaving. After leaving it will be a big weight of my shoulders. I pressed leave and it felt amazing no more comparison. I took my earbuds out put my phone on charge and went to sleep hoping I'd wake up in time tmrrw. Turned off my light and plunged into my pillows and cried myself to sleep.