aftermath.

i'm a mess.

trigger warning: panic attack and anxiety. i am referring to the panic attack as something i have experienced before... i try to only talk through topics i have some experience with so i try not to offend anyone <3 please read with caution!!

2099 words.

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It's been a week. A week since Ron and Hermione confessed their feelings and officially became a couple. It had been a good week being able to be more open about who they were together, but the nights were awkward now. Before, they were just best friends who comforted each other. Now, they were a couple who wanted to comfort each other. They crossed a line. A line they wanted to cross no doubt, but it was crossed. On top of these new feelings they couldn't quite figure out how to work through, Hermione's nightmares had increased. She was able to handle most of them fairly well, but tonight's was different. And a whole lot more dramatic.

The sleeping arrangements hadn't changed much. Ron and Hermione were shocked to find out that his mom was rather okay with it. I mean, as long as Harry was in there, too. She didn't need to know he snuck down to Ginny's room every night and came back up every morning before she woke.

Hermione spent most of the night tossing and turning. She tried to find comfort in just cuddling up to Ron's side, but she was struggling. Nothing felt comfortable and her mind kept drifting back to Malfoy Manor. Every dream was the same. She was being tortured, people she loved were being tortured or killed and she couldn't do anything about it. Tonight's nightmare though... it resulted in an experience Hermione had never known before. She had her first panic attack. Panic is an understatement.

The dream had started to feel too real. She started to feel the pain again. She could feel Bellatrix's presence as she screamed in her face. She could feel the knife scraping her arm. She could feel the blade against her neck she was weakly being held up by. She jumped up out of her nightmare, sitting straight up in the bed, gasping for air so loudly she woke Ron up with her. She grasped onto his arms, the bed sheets, anything she could get her hands on. She couldn't breathe. Everything was blurry. Her head was dizzy. Ron got up on his knees beside her, placing his hands roughly on her shoulders forcing her to make eye contact with him.

"Hermione!! What's wrong?"

She was gasping for air, blinking rapidly. She felt herself getting very weak and light headed. She tried so hard to form words. She wanted to tell Ron what was wrong, but she couldn't breathe. She wanted to tell him she felt like was back in the room being tortured and that she was crying out for him. She was starting to lose all her breathe. She couldn't hold on anymore. With her hands still wrapped around his arm, eyes widened, she collapsed onto the bed, gasping for breathe even harder.

"Hermione! Baby! Please what's going on!" Ron was above her, holding her face gently in his hands, tears streaming down her face. He looked into her tear stained eyes, trying to figure out what to do. He looks up as soon as he hears Harry and Ginny come barging into the room.

"Ron! What's going on? Hermione!! What's wrong?!"

Ron jumped off the bed, picking Hermione up, running past Harry and down the stairs. He needed more space. His room suddenly felt suffocating. Harry and Ginny come running down after him. Hermione was shaking in his arms, crying and gasping for breathe.

Ron runs into the sitting room and tries to place Hermione on the couch, but her grip on his arm got tighter, not letting him go. She didn't want to lose sight of him. Her breathing hitched when she felt him caressing her arm and for a moment she felt air go in her lungs, but it was gone quicker than it came.

"Hermione, it's okay. Look at me... hey, focus on MY breathing. In and out... it's okay... Harry is going to get some water" Ron glanced up at Harry to confirm and began rubbing lines up and down her arm with his finger tips trying to get her to focus on him.