aftermath.

tied together with a smile.

A/N: My longest chapter so far. I don't have a pre written plan for this story. I write and come up with stuff as I go so bear with me in working through Hermione's trauma. Putting myself in her mind and shoes is hard. I can't imagine the pain she went though.

I hope you enjoy!!

2263 words.

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It's been two weeks since Hermione's first panic attack. Within that week, so much healing has begun. They knew it was going to be a long journey and many hard sessions, but it didn't make it any easier. Hermione was having a hard time opening up to Ron about Malfoy Manor, let alone a mental healer. She didn't like to appear vulnerable or in need of help. She just wanted to push it down and move on, but she knew that was 1) unhealthy and 2) just not possible. Not when she was with Ron who insisted she seek help. She was insanely grateful for him and knew that he just wanted her to be okay, but she couldn't handle this. It all was too much. She wasn't ready to deal with all of this. She wasn't ready to talk about what went through her mind as Bellatrix tortured her. She wasn't ready to talk about how scared she was that someone else would want revenge on her and do it again or worse, kill the people she loved.

Healer Strikes was Hermione's therapist she saw twice a week. They spent last week, the first week of sessions, talking through how Hermione was feeling now, in this present moment. She talked about how she felt okay during the day and at night she found herself feeling the pain all over again and sometimes it resulted in her not being able to breathe, but she never had a panic episode like that one night. She was able to reign it in more quickly.

She had a physical evaluation to make sure internally she was okay. She was cleared on that end, aside from the physical damage of the scar, but it didn't cause any permanent damage. She would just have to wait out the sharps of pain that come and go which is the result of the pain she is feeling every night. It would pass though and that bit of news warmed both Ron and Hermione. The results of the crucio did cause some scarring of her insides, but with some healing potions and remedies, they should heal and cause no future trauma. They can't know for sure though. It's hard to do tests and evaluations on the effects of crucio since most people die from it. Neville's parents and Hermione were the only ones known of that survived.

Hermione was sitting in Healer Strikes office. She was a bit zoned out due to not getting much sleep because of the nightmares from the night before. She was staring out the window when she heard a cough come from the Healer's chair.

"Hermione?"

"I'm so sorry.. Yes.. what did you ask?"

Healer Strikes gave a gentle smile. "I asked you how you were.. how you slept last night" She noticed how Hermione was pulling at the lose strings of her shirt. Hermione shifted in her seat and just stared at the healer. 

"I.. um.. I had the nightmares again." She looked back out the window and watched the magically moving images they put there as a way to soothe the anxiety in patients. Or whatever the pamphlet said. It did help just a bit. Just a bit.

"Are they the same ones?"

"This was worse"

FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT

Ron was asleep in his bed when Hermione joined him after her shower. De-gnoming and playing quidditch all day with Ginny and Harry wore him out. He hadn't had much of a chance to talk to or spend time with Hermione so he really tried to stay awake. She was okay with it really. She loved watching him ease back into his life and it didn't make her feel so watched all the time. She just gave a soft smile as she climbed into bed beside him, putting the blanket over his legs.