Journal du Jour

Always Late in Life

Always Late in Life

"I bet you he would be late for his own funeral."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, wasn't he late for his own wedding?"

"Big difference don't you think?"

"Not really. one is a joyous occasion and the other is not."

"Well, if he can't be on time for a joyous occasion, what in the world makes you think he'd be there on time for a miserable one?"

"Ha, ha ha, actually you're quite right. I'm just thinking back to the day he got married and the church was packed all waiting for him to show up."

"It's certainly the first wedding I've been to where the bride was waiting for the groom."

"Oh, how embarrassing don't you think? I mean there was the priest, the best man, the bride and her father but no groom. I don't remember what the reason he gave."

"The car broke down, is what he told everyone."

"Do you believe him?"

"No, of course not. He was seen in the pub around the corner with his old girlfriend."

"I guess he was saying goodbye to her."

"Drowning his miseries is more like it."

"Ha, ha, ha. Do you remember when he walked into the church and the organist began to play here comes the bride?"

"Yes, it was awfully funny. I say is it your turn to buy the next round of drinks?"

"I guess it is." replied a seemingly frustrated Robert, as he got up slowly from the hard wooden chair he had been sitting on for the last hour, nursing his half pint of bitter. While his friend Randolph had finished his pint of beer and was waiting for another. Robert, at the very best of times was cheap. His wife Audrey joked that if he could go to work in his pajamas every day he would, because he hated spending money on clothes. But unfortunately, Robert was a high-powered executive in a not so high powered company and had to look the part. He returned a few minutes later with two pint glasses.

"Good heavens Robert! what has got into you? you're splurging. no half pint for you."

"Well," he replied slowly as he lowered himself into the same uncomfortable wooden chair, "I don't like the way you stare at me, drumming your fingers on the table or rubbing them on the edge of the glass trying to make it ring while I'm still sipping my beer."

"Oh God!" replied Randolph, "it's about time you grew up and drank from big boy glasses. Anyway, whatever happened to David? I haven't seen him in years."

"Well," replied Robert debating as to whether he should take a sip or not, but finally decided he needed to. "Well David is still married to Debbie."

"Oh, that's right, I was trying to think of her name. She was pretty nondescript, wasn't she?"

"Well, she hasn't improved over the years, that much I can tell you. She's still pretty nondescript, just 10 years older."

"Did they have any children?"

"No, no they didn't."

"I'm sure the unborn children are very glad. They just they just don't seem to be really nice people."

"He works with you doesn't he?"

"He does yes." Robert sighed heavily and decided that the reminder was deserving of a gulp of beer. Then he realized that the next round would be on his friend, which loosened him up slightly and he took two gulps. Randolph raised eyebrows at his friends move and took a gulp as well in sympathy.

"That's why we got invited to the wedding."

"Ah yes of course, now I remember. ha-ha the reception was good though."

"Yes, very good food. I just didn't like the fact that whenever you went up for a drink, the bartender had a sheet on which he would keep count of how many drinks each person had."

"I was afraid he was going to prevent present everyone with the bill at the end."

"Well, we did have to pay for the drinks before the wedding didn't we?"

"I know, wasn't that embarrassing."

"I'm glad I had some money on me. Audrey was frankly fight fully embarrassed."

"So were we all. I guess a wedding on the cheap."

"But the venue was spectacular."

"I bet they got that on the cheap as well."

"You're right, not many people get married in the depths of February when snowstorms are the norm."

"I believe that's why while the bride's family planned it that way."

"Probably hoping there would be a snowstorm on the day of the wedding."

"There wasn't though, was there?"

"No, in fact it was an unseasonably warm day for February. Thank you, global warming."

"Oh, good heavens, look who's just walked into the pub."

Randolph twisted his head towards the bar and the entrance to the pub. He watched a man who appeared to be in his late 60s shuffle in through the door and walk up to the bar.

"Don't you recognize him?" Randolph shook his head. "It's David."

"David!" Randolph nearly shouted, "but he looks like he's near death. The last time I saw him 10 years ago he was about he was about 40."

"39, to be exact," replied Robert.

"Wow, what happened? Is that what living with his wife has done to him over 10 years?"

"Do you mind if I invite him over?" asked Robert hoping his friend would object, which would mean he didn't have to get out of the uncomfortable wooden chair he was now glued to. But it was too late. David had spotted them or at least recognized his boss. He picked up his half pint and shuffled over to them.

"Well, Robert," David mumbled, "what a pleasant surprise."

"I wish I could say the same," replied Robert under his breath. "Do you remember my friend Randolph?"

David shook his head, "no I'm afraid not. Have we met before?"

"A long time ago," replied Randolph trying to keep his composure at the sight of David, who close up looked much worse than he did from further away. "It was at your wedding."

"Oh, that was a long time ago. I don't really remember much about it."

"You were plastered, that's for sure."

"I remember that though. Do you mind if I sit down?"

"Well," replied the other two men in unison.

"We aren't going to be staying long. We have to be somewhere in about 15 minutes. But you're welcome to join us until then." Continued Randolph.

"That's OK," replied David sadly, "I'll go back to the bar and wait."

"Oh," said Robert, "are you meeting someone?"

David nodded his head, "yes, my divorce lawyer."

Randolph looked at Robert. They both had the same thought.

"I guess we can be a little late for our next appointment. David, please pull up a seat and join us until your divorce lawyer arrives."

"I may have missed him," replied a downbeat David, "I was supposed to be here half an hour ago."

Too late the men thought as David sat down and placed his beer on the table.