Growing up I feel restrained. I feel like I have been forced into a moulded shape. With people who have known me they think they have seen all sides of me. They haven't. I only show what I think they would like. I withhold the other parts of me with a fear of being on my own, for good. I feel myself falling, slipping into a never ending cycle of what I should be versus what I am.
My mould is breaking, I can feel their ideal slipping away. I see the people who once called me their friend walking away simply because I wasn't the same. I see friends come and go on a regular basis all because one person didn't want to give. only take.
I think that's the truly scary thing, friendships over because one person showed another side. Because they didn't fit into the moulded shape you forced them into, because they opened up. Sometimes, I prefer the online world because hardly anybody knows who I am. I push myself into a different mould, but that's only scary thought in itself.
