Paper Birds

Chapter Eighteen ; Scars Left Behind

"Can you tell me a little bit about these dreams, Clarissa?" 

The therapist sat across from me, folding her hands in her lap all proper like. Miss Parks. She had bright blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair, wearing a suit that would make me squirm. I hated suits on women. I hated everything about this woman. She was so incredibly irritating I just wanted to take her out with the nearest chair. I know she didn't want to help me; she was only here to make money. Like everyone in the world.

"I don't like them."

"Why don't you like them?"

That's the single most stupid question I have ever heard of in my life. That's like asking someone why they don't like Adolf Hitler.

"Oh, I dunno, I guess because I don't look pretty in them," I snapped back sarcastically. This was a huge waste of everyone's time and money. Why couldn't I just leave? I saw her scribble something down on her clipboard but didn't care. I couldn't care less what she thought of me. Hopefully after this session I wouldn't have to see her ever again.

"Can you describe these dreams to me?"

"No."

She leaned in, making me smirk. She was so impatient it was funny. 

"Miss Coligan, please. This is the only way that I can help you."

I sighed, figuring I had nothing to lose except my dignity. Oh, wait, lost that a long time ago. So why not? 

"This first one was about me and my ex-boyfriend. Then it cut to a seen where some boy got shot by a really big guy. The second one was after the.. incident where Talon knocked me out."

She scribbled something else down on the clipboard. "When you say Talon, do you mean James Taimlon?"

"I guess so. How the hell should I know his real name?"

Miss Parks paused, then said, "Can you describe your relationship with James Taimlon?"

 I groaned. This was getting worse and worse. "I gambled with him once. I didn't have the money. He chased me down. He beat me up. Is that simple enough for you?"

"If it's not too much, would you be able to give me the details of the night he beat you up?"

What, did she think I was pansie or something? 'If it's not too much'. Well, screw you, I'm not weak. 

"It's not too much, thanks. After the concert I ran out into New York City. He pulled up in a red van or somethin' and told me he didn't like it when people don't have his money. His two friends, I don't what their names are so don't ask, grabbed me and started to take me to the car. Then Harry Styles.. I don't know where he came from, but he kind of just appeared. They got into a fight. I guess Harry won because they drove away and we met up with Louis Tomlinson on Madison."

Miss Parks nodded and jotted something else down on her clipboard. "And what happened after that?"

"I went to Louis' room and stayed this night."

"Do you have an affair with Mr. Tomlinson?"

"No!" I answered a little too quickly. "I just stayed the night and slept. God. We're just friends."  

That's what he wanted, right? He wanted us to be only friends. And that's all we were, now. 

There was a long silence, the only sound was the scribbling of a pen that was in her hand. "Do you think you might still have feelings for Mr. Tomlinson?"

I hated that she called him 'Mr. Tomlinson'. His name was Louis. Louis Tomlinson. 

"No."

She raised an eyebrow, not looking too convinced. Did I have feelings left for him? He saved my life, almost sacrificing his in the process. He held me tight and understood the things I was going through, even if he didn't know why.