One At A Time

*Kathryn Hahn*

#15: Just Not in This Life.

(Y/Nn = Your NickName)

...

Y/n's P.O.V

"Hey Y/Nn, come ride with us we'll drop you off." Kathryn said but I kindly shaked and waved my head and hands saying, I have my own ride.

"Ok, be careful and text me when you got home so I'll know you're safe."

"Yes Ma'am." I playfully salute to her and I heard her laugh that flipped my stomach and brighten my gloomy day that I'm having. Though that bright was replaced by cloudiness immediately when her car started to move. Before her windows rolled all the way up, I saw her laughing with the man of her life and I saw her kissing him which makes my day worse than it already is.

I can't help but slouch while waiting for my ride to arrive. I can't do anything but to accept the reality that she will just see me as her best friend and nothing more. The reality that my heart and dreams keep denying until it just got tired and let this harsh truth sink in into my hopeless self.

...

I slumped onto my couch and stare at my ceiling. On the corners of it is a yellow orange LED strip lights that serves as the luminescence of this room. My lamp shade is also emitting some faded lights that sets up my whole mood for the day and probably for the upcoming days.

Someone I love is going to marry someone who she loves and the part that hurts me the most is that it's not me and it's never going to be me.

I texted her that I'm home and she replied with 'That's good honey', and I didn't replied to it anymore. Distancing myself is the best way to do this. She doesn't need to know what I'm feeling. She doesn't need to stress out what my heart was aching for. All she needs to be worried about is her upcoming wedding that I truly looking forward to. Insert sarcasm.

I love her but she loves someone else and that someone else do love her. So who I am to interfere their happiness? I am her best friend who happens to fall in love with her. I am her best friend who declined her offer to be one of her bridesmaid, I have an important meeting that I needed to attend for it is one of the most important investors.

~~~~

"Hey Y/Nn, the wedding will be month away so I'm thinking of you as one of my bridesmaids."  The way her blue orbs look at me with so much excitement almost makes me forget that she's asking me something that will turn my already shattered heart into dust.