I was sitting on my bunk bed and wondering what happened to Max.His sister kept on avoiding my messages ever since she told me the hospital told her to come strait away..she would never reply,even if so she did.. Just constant crying emojis.I've known max since December and we've been close friends ever since even though he spent most of the time in hospital.Isnt it ironic how we tell others to stay strong.. Yet we cant even do it ourselves? Max always gave me courage and confidence no matter what.I wasn't as suicidal as he is but yet I was the negative one..well,thats what I thought.He had been bullied all his life,he thought maybe there was something wrong with him,but how does someone so perfect feel so insecure? Dont get me wrong I dont have feelings for him,me and him were always like this,close.We both thought we told eachother everything..we were wrong.I hid my real life from him for his own good,he did the same.I would shut people out a lot..I always do.He would never ever give up on me,until that day.The day Max got out of hospital from his suicide attempt (he was in hospital for a month and we didnt talk like we used to,the nurses took his phone away) ,Things got too much for him,pressure from parents,school,friends,bullies and all the councelours and I guess everything just built up on him..oh and also because of me.I screwed up again as always,I kept on pushing him away when he tried to help me and he thought he was the problem.Max ran away.He left his phone at home and his sister Taffie had it.She told me he always runs away after from being in the hospital..he would usually come the next day,or the day after that.But no,he never did.I waited for days and days..constantly messaging his sister if there was any news.The worst feeling in the world is just sitting there..waiting..not knowing whats going on.. And you cant do anything about it.The police told Taffie to stop calling.. Everytime they came over max would be back.. His parents never gave a shit..they said he'll be back soon.The police finally came on the 6th day.They searched everywhere.I did the best I can and I searched "missing boy max,cardiff age 14" and thousands of similar things to that.. Nothing came up.I asked his sister the police reported to the news.. They said they will in 10 days time.I've been told that sometimes we dont react to something the way we are expected.. I was calm.. I didnt cry a lot,The pain inside me was unbearable..I was torn apart.. But hardly cried.People at school never knew anything happened.. Just that depressed girl,her usual self.The pain grew more and more and I told my counsellor and she told my house mistress and everyone kept their eye on me which made all this shit worse.Taffie thought he might be in the treehouse they used to go together as kids which was 2 hours walking distance.I was just so hopeful and happy that I cant explain! :) but then I told myself not to keep my hopes up.I kept on looking at my phone to see if shes back.The next day.. I get a message from max!! We talk and talk for hours and 2 days.One day,he sounded cold,and angry.. He would tell me whats wrong.Then he said we shouldnt be friends anymore.His sister told him to and my anger built up inside me so much that I just didnt know how to let it go.20th march her sister apologised and said she didnt want us to affect eachother but now she regrets what she's done.But he's been missing since 18th of march.. I really expected him back.. I waited over 10 days.. 14 infact.He was found near a river.. Choking.They took max to the hospital and he didnt wake up for ages.and when he did they said he has no memory of what had happened since he ran away.I didnt think that too much because I was too happy that he was awake!! :') i thought I would talk to him again.. That we can hopefully be friends again since his sister wont stand in the way anymore.. But no.Todays the day I've been told.. Max has died.3 days ago.. At first I didnt know how to cope with it..I started to cry.I thought this couldnt of happened.. I couldnt of lost max..this is all a silly joke.Then I thought to myself..grow up.This is reality because he's dead! Its no fucking misunderstanding... Max is dead.
