The After Trauma.||The Black Phone

Chp 3. Dont Make Me Remeber. (TW)

[TW: self-harm, hearing voices and mention of in depth description of S3XU4L AS$U!T]

Voiced: bold
Thinking: italics
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I get home with gwen and dad is waiting for me

"Hey pop" I say, I look at him with empty eyes, he's my dad and I do love him but, I can't look at him the same after how he was, im just glad he's changing

"Hey son..how was..how was school?" He says hugging me and bringing me and gwen inside.

"It's was good, I guess.. I got to see Robin again!" I say smiling, I haven't smiled infront of dad in a while.

He looks down at me and smiles, comforotingly. "I'm glad son, bet he missed you huh?"

"Yeah.. I'm going to my room okay dad?"

"Alright, I'll be watching TV if you need anything"

I walk to my room and hear dad telling gwen how glad he is that I'm smiling again and how happy he is that im getting better.

I close my door and lay in my space rocket blanket. Space and rockets have always comforted me, their so cool.

Hey finney boy~

Oh right you're here

What I do not tell people is ever since I got out, I've developed a voice that sounds like the gra-...him.

Uh yeah! I never left!~ even when you're happy I still lerk in the back of you're mind~ reminding you of how pathetic you really are~

I'm not..pathetic.

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TW. INTENCE DESCRIPTION OF SA & SH WITH A BOX CUTTER, PLEASE SKIP THIS CHAPTER IF YOU WILL BE TRIGGERED!!!

Yes you are. You couldn't fight back until he told you what he did to those kids before you~ how he did the exact same things he did to you to those boys~

I....stop I don't want to remeber that.

Remeber what? The way he touched you? Forced himself onto you? Made you feel so special~ it was a gift you know? He did it to make you feel more safe there. Don't blame him. It was your fault anyway, you didn't fight him off.

I feel tears run down my cheek, it wasnt my fault, im not weak...I just didn't want to remeber, I didn't want to remeber, I didn't want to remeber, I didn't want to remeber, I didn't want to remeber, I didn't want to reme-

Stop repeating yourself. I don't care if you don't want to remeber it you have to. Remeber how much it hurt? When he shoved it in you? Hm? Hurt didn't it. Remeber how much it hurt.

Stop...please...

I start sobbing intensly.

Remeber how it felt when he touched you down there? How he crawled into your "bed" down in that basement and slipped is hand up and down you while you slept. You do don't you?

Just fucking stop I don't..want to remeber this anymore please please.

You want me to stop?

...

Okay. Slit your wrist then.

...

What..?

You heard me. Don't make me repeat it finney.

But....I could die

You won't. And so what if you do, no one would really care would they. You want me to shut up don't you?

Yeah but...

Then do it. Slit. Your. Wrists. Finney Blake.

I..fine...how though?..

Your dad's box cutter.

Okay..i guess..

I sigh and stand up. I guess it wouldn't hurt just once...I mean it will but..I've heard of people doing it and it being good and made then feel release from their problems.

I sneak to my dad's room, grabbing his box cutter and going to the bathroom.

Go on~

Shut up..I'll do it when I want to...

I roll up my sleeve and placed to blade of it on my upper arm, I'm not stupid, I know where my main arteries are.

I hesitate, what if gwen finds out? Or dad...or Robin?

Finney boy, ill keep reminding you of what he did to you.

But...

Remeber how long it went on for the first time?..hours, 3 to be precise.

Okay okay stop please ill do it!

Good boy finney~

Don't call me that...

I sigh pressing it lightly into my skin, I grow impatient and beging to press harder until it hurts, I then drag it across and watch the blood prick out of my arm and drip, drip, drip onto the floor.

I wish I hadn't done that, the dripping reminded me of when I saw Griffin...

I shudder and shrug it off.

The pain was comforting, unlike any pain I've ever felt.  I loved it. I craved it, I needed more.

You can stop whenever.

I could but...to be honest..I didn't.. want to. It felt amazing.

I did it again, and again, and again, obessesing over how many I could fit on my arm, making sure to not go to far down.

1..
2..
3..

I said you could stop yet you continue? My my finney boy is this getting addicting?

I ignore it.

12..
..15
..18..

I stop..

I look at the mass of blood I've created on my arm.

Drip drip drip drip

I made a horrible mistake.

This is going to stain. Shit.

I grab a red towel and start wiping the floor, praying the blood comes off, which it thankfully does. I then attempt to wipe the blood from my arm, only to discover it won't stop. The bleeding. Will. Not. Stop.

I rummage around the cabinets for bandges and find some, slowly applying it around my right arm (left handed finny why? Cuz I'm left handed, that's why.) Praying that it'll calm the bleeding down, it does.

I wash off the box cutter and then change into my pj's, throwing my now kind bloody clothes into the washing basket.

I stumble back to my room, falling onto my bed, and immidnetly sleeping.

Time for nightmares I guess.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Griffin's dead body appears in front of my bed.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Go away.

(DONE! HOPE YOU ENJOYED! 1000+ WORD CHAPTER!!! WOOO!!!)

(-BO BUNNY)