the violin & the clarinet

2

The first half of the year went by so fast. Snow was on the ground before I knew it and we were preparing our music for the Christmas concert every day in class.

This year would be one of the school's biggest Christmas concerts. Two nights in a row, Friday and Saturday, the week before we were on break. Four choirs, the whole orchestra, the band, the marching band, smaller ensembles- every music student was involved in some way. I was only in the orchestra, Venti was in the boys' choir and the mixed choir, and I knew Xinyan was in orchestra and the mixed choir.

"You're gonna be so excited tonight," Venti had told me at our final rehearsal. "Just wait until my choir comes on." A devilish smirk on his face made me nervous, crossing my fingers he wasn't plotting to ruin the performance.

For performances, we had a special dress code. I wore a white button-down shirt and black pleated skirt, navy blue tights and black dress shoes. The outfits varied to some degree throughout our group but they all had the same colors, the same idea.

I caught a glimpse of Xinyan talking to Hu Tao, one of the cello players, before we warmed up. She'd put a tie on with her shirt, black dress pants and shoes that made her look even more stunning than usual. If I wasn't such a chickenshit I'm sure I would've talked to her then. I would've told her how pretty the notes she played were, how the bright light in the room made her eyes sparkly, how I wanted to be friends. I would've made a fool of myself, I'm sure.

I didn't see Venti at all before we went on stage. The first song included everyone- band, orchestra, all four choirs shoved together around the stage. As chaotic as this concert was, I couldn't have had a better time. I didn't mess up at all- how proud of myself I was!

We sat in the band room for the time we weren't on stage, and I sat doing my homework. The teacher had managed to live-stream the concert online and we had it playing on the projector in the background.

Venti's mixed choir stepped up to the stage and I looked up, my eyes searching for him in their lines. I had nearly forgotten Xinyan was there too.

Halfway through the song, I watched her step out of line and up to a microphone at the front of the stage.

Ah.

so this was Venti's "surprise."

In the same moment, everything around me seemed to slow down. I heard her voice, bright and passionate, breathing life into the song. Her solo was short but enough to stop time, to set everything ablaze.

I knew in that moment she'd taken my heart captive.

I stayed that way, my cheeks burning up and the rest of me cold, until Xingqiu shook me out of it.

"Xiangling, hurry up- we have to get backstage." He already held the trumpet in his hand.

"Crap- right, sorry, sorry!" Flustered, I scrambled to my feet and grabbed my clarinet, spilling my homework papers in the process.

I watched the recording my father took of the concert over and over. My eyes went not to myself but to the string section, watching Xinyan play her violin. I fooled myself into thinking I could pick her instrument out from the rest, could pay attention to her alone. She played as though she knew the instrument inside and out, as if it was a part of her. Venti teased me endlessly once he found out, but nobody else ever knew.

I promised myself that night that I'd talk to her by the end of the year.