Alone

By herself

She grew up in a place where staying home in her own home was the best choice. Going to a friends or neighbors house was seen in a bad light. Going to the neighbors house meant she didn't like her own home. But actually to her 8 year old mind she was just an only child who wanted someone her own age to talk to and play with. That's all.
Well I guess the television and Nickelodeon will be my friend. I mean I can't talk to or play with the tv, but I do get entertainment from watching my favorite shows so maybe not having a friend isn't all that bad because I have my tv. For a while and not literally a while more like years the tv is all she had as entertainment until she thought it was okay to be without friends or acquaintances. She actually grew to love being a loner, love being introverted and shy because friends become enemies and eventually bonds break throughout the journey of life. Though friends and those closest to you may sometimes be the ones to hurt you the most it also hurts to know that when your hurting and feeling the lowest you have no one to tell, no one to call, no one who truly cares the way you'd truly care for someone in a low position in their life. It's sad to think that life should be about living and making memories and the age that your currently at is considered your prime days where you should be enjoying and living the most care free life yet your not even living for real, your just surviving. It's sad when you really can't talk to no one for real, no one to share your day with, no one to tell your secrets (although it's best you don't ever tell anyone a secret!) no one to go to the mall, to go eat with, no one to chill with. Not a friend or a lover, not a cousin or a sister/brother. Loneliness kicks in fast and she fights the negative thoughts all day because sometimes even in the misery of it all she finds the peace in being alone but maybe that's because that's all she's ever known.