Part of Me

stuff happens and stuff

It's ok, things got better. I felt free. Or did I? Do I? I would go on my personal and post things saying how we should be confident and not care about what people say! And then at night I post sad quotes. Not able to scream for help. I'm all alone. Nobody cares. Why do I bother living?? Because you don't have a gun, I answer myself. No... It's because of him. Even if I had a gun, I wouldn't shoot. Because of him. I lay there and cry. Cry myself to sleep. And the next morning, nothing happened. What are you talking about? I'm fine. And usually I was. But every night the weight on my shoulders increased.
How I so desperately longed for a hug, specifically from him. I needed someone to tell me everything was ok. I dmed the two people I told and asked if they thought I should tell him. "I think he already knows..." "Ya"
I paused. Hold up. "How???"
"Idk maybe somebody told him"
"I think he saw your Instagram"
Lately I had been posting love quotes. Oh no.
"Wait he has Instagram??" I asked.
"No, but maybe someone showed him.."
True. He does have friends that have Instagram.
A month went by and I still loved him. I needed to start something. I asked one of the friends if he had Snapchat and she said yes and told me it. I know. Stalker move. Smooth. But I tried to ignore it.
I added him. And I freaked out when he added me.
I went on my personal and asked my followers if I should start a conversation and they said yes. And so I opened Snapchat and as my fingers trembled, I typed "Hi". I was so nervous. A few minutes later he responded " Hey" o my gosh. He said hi. The conversation continued and we talked about art and music. I complimented him on his art skills and he complimented me on my piano skills. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤. *Insert fangirl screams*. He totally likes me. Totally. Yas. Score.