differences in our similarities

8.

PIERRES POV:

The car ride to the spot was mostly silent, not an uncomfortable silence though. There was music playing in the background as she hummed to the song.

I was now walking a couple of feet in front of alexandra pushing through the small path covered by overgrown flowers, grass  and trees.

I come here a lot, mostly to think. Think about my dad, and my mum. There's not much to think about my mum, actually.

I just like the relax here. I thought that conner would like it here as well. I like being her fake boyfriend, i'd never tell her that though.

I look back every minute or two to check if she's still following, when she sees me look back she looks at me with her doe brown eyes and the corner of her pink lips tilt upwards.

"You don't need to keep looking back, im not about to make a run for it." she says slightly laughing which makes me smile.

"Aww, so you aren't leaving." i pout.

"I never said that!" she starts to run ahead of me and i chase after her laughing, her long deep brown hair falling behind her.

"Catch me if you can!! You won't." She says still running. I pick up my pace and once i've reached her grabbing her by the waist and pushing her behind me.

I start running until i hear an ow. I turn around and see her on the floor holding her ankle with her eyebrows drawn together and eyes closed.

i rush over and get infront of her on my knees. "Merde, fuck. I'm so sorry alexandra. Are you okay? Can you walk, do you need me to carry you?" She slowly looks up with a smirk on her face. (merde = shit)

she shoves me backwards so i fall onto my butt as she laughs whilst tilting her head back. She has a pretty laugh, it's really loud.

"Not funny." i say whilst i stand up.

"Oh please! That was hilarious." She stands straight in-front of me whilst grabbing my cheeks in a patronising way just like my aunt would.

"You care about mee!" She says grinning. "Disgusting, i hate you, you smell like my ass." i tease.

She shakes her head and walk ahead of me.

ALEXANDRAS POV:

We've arrived down by a little river, it's surrounded by flowers and willow trees. The river is gently flowing down the gap between two huge bushes.

There's a patch of grass in the corner near a bridge, an old brick bridge which looks like it's been here forever.

"Woah." I mutter even wondering if it was loud enough for pierre to hear. "I know." He says standing behind me.

The view in front of me looks like it was just pulled off the front of a post card. I wonder how he even found this place.

He starts walking towards a big tree next to the bridge. He sits agains the wall of the bridge and tilts his head back, his silky light brown hair ruffled up and his chest slowly moving up and down.

i walk over to sit next to him and there's random letters carved on the bridge. Probably from a cute old couple. Or that's what i'd like to imagine.

I plop myself down next to pierre. "How'd you find this place" i ask without looking at him. "Oh, just happened to walk past it one day and i've come here ever since." I can tell that isn't the whole truth but i'm not gonna push him, if he wanted to tell me, he would.

"When?"

"About two years ago" he says low. "Do you come here a lot." i say, keeping the questions flowing.

"You ask a lot of questions, Conner." I look down at my lap in embarassment before muttering. "No, i dont. Maybe people just don't ask you many questions."

"Harsh." He says whilst looking at the side of my head making me a bit self conscious. "Maybe, but i never said it was a bad thing. Sometimes no questions at all are better than questions."

"And so why are you asking me so many?" He says. "Maybe i'm intrigued by you." i throw back

"mm, okay." He hums.

i look to him and see him already looking at me. He moves his eyes down from my eyes to my lips. And slowly back to my eyes.

It's so silent other than our light breathing.

I slowly move my head in and i see him going in as well and just as i shut my eyes he turns his head and i end up almost making out with his cheek.

once i realise he didn't actually want to kiss me. i feel the embarrassment sink down all the way from my mouth, and all the way down to my feet.

He clears his throat and stands up, brushing off his loose cargos. "We should get going, it's getting kind of late."

it wasn't. It was only five. But i wasn't about to embarrass myself anymore than i already have.

The walk back to the car is silent apart from our feet crushing down the leaves that have fallen from the trees above.

How could i be so fucking stupid? This is fake dating. Not real dating. Not 'crushing.' Not anything other than two people fake dating to get something out of it.

But why didn't he want to kiss me? Am i not pretty enough? Did i do something? Did i bore him?

All i know is that it's left me feeling the the shittiest person in the world. Ive been rejected before! Why does this feel worse than any of them put together.

Maybe i'm over reacting. It was just an almost kiss. Nothing that bad.

Before i've realise we are back at the car and i get in the passengers side. Pierre puts some music on quietly. "I, i didn't mean-" He starts but i turn the music up. Letting him know i was too humiliated to speak.

He gets the message and just looks ahead. Once we've arrived at mine he pulls into my drive and leans across me to open the door.

"Look that was shitty of me, it isn't because i didn't want to it was just-" I interrupt "Pierre, you have nothing to apologise for. It was stupid. This relationship is fake, i don't know what i was thinking. I'm sorry." i act as if i've just brushed it off my shoulder and send him a smile.

He nods. "Okay...I'll talk to you tomorrow. Do you want a lift?" He asks staring straight into my eyes.

"Uh, yeah please."

"Alright see you then" He sends a quick smile my way and pulls the door shut. I walk up to my door and wave to him as he drives off.

Once he's gone i kick the door a few times. "Fuck fuck fuck. FUCK." I groan. I open the door and slam in shut. That's so fucking embarrassing!

Josh comes through the doors of the living room his eyebrows furrowed. "Lex? What's up?"

"Oh, nothing i just lost something i liked." Lie. But i wasn't about to tell him that i went in for a kiss that wasn't wanted.

"Okay then, tell me if you need to talk" He grins and walks back to his game in the lounge.

I quickly grab myself some raspberry's from the fridge and drag my bag up the stairs.

once i'm in my room i flop onto my bed and groan into the pillow, it's a cloud, if i could i'd never leave.

I grab a random hoodie and some joggers  with a fluffy inside. I put on some slipper socks and brush my teeth.

I wash and moisturise my face before running downstairs and making myself some green tea in my cute dog mug.

Now that i've got my tea, raspberries and laptop. I can mourn my self respect for the next 5 hours by watching gossip girl.

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Ew bc i'd be so embarrassed sorry not sorry.  Trying to kiss someone and them backing away. EMBARRASSING 🙈

I'd cry. It's okay i'll kiss you lex, even if the sexy french boy won't xox