When it Happens

Chapter 5

September 22nd, 1993

****

I woke up, and an immense dread overcame me. My heart sank as I opened my eyes, and I knew that when I woke up on this day five years ago, my mood was very completely different. 

I got ready and went towards the stairs to go down and eat breakfast. That's when I passed the office. My father's office. Before I could take that first step down the stairs, I just had this nagging feeling to go into the office. So, reluctantly, I did. 

That room was like a shrine. When I opened the glass doors, I swore I felt a cool breeze come out and pass me. I had been in that room only last week when I found Nate in here, but before that, I hadn't been in there since the day he died. His memory was still alive everywhere I looked. His office chair was still scratched from when he was swiveling me around in it and clutched it so hard my nails dug into the leather. He refused to replace it because he loved "my little mark" in a place he did work in.

Family pictures of us filled the room. For a moment there, I remembered what a happy family we used to be. We did everything together. Thursday game nights, Saturday movie nights... those all stopped after he died. I think my mom found it too hard to continue without him. 

I ran a hand over the dark oak wooden desk and collected a clump of dust on my hand. I quickly brushed it off and walked around to the drawers of his desk. I slowly pulled open the top one, and it was filled with office supplies and work folders. But the bottom one... my heart nearly dropped as I found a silver locket. In it was a picture of him, Bobby and me. I embraced it for a minute, clutching it to my chest as a tear ran down my cheek. 

Why dad? Why'd you drink and drive? Why'd you have to ruin our family, and take a piece of my heart with you?

I wiped the tear from my face, stuffed the locket into my skirt pocket and headed downstairs.

***

I was surprised to see my mother downstairs in the kitchen, making breakfast in her bathrobe. Usually, she'd be off at work by now. "Hey, honey!" She said as cheerily as she could when she saw me. She always knew how close my father and I had been, and she knew how hard this day was for me. When she saw my red eyes, she frowned. "I took today off. Think we could spend the day together when you get home from school? I was thinking I'd visit the cemetery today while you were gone. I could wait for you, of course, if you want me to."

I shook my head. "No, that's okay. I'll go after school and spend some time there alone." She nodded, looking down at the eggs she was frying. "But I'd love to spend the day with you when I come back."

She gives me a flattered smile as I sit at the table and pour myself a glass of orange juice.

When I got to school, I quickly walked to first period, avoiding everyone who tried to even look at me. I only knew they'd ask me what's wrong, then I'd have to remind them about the story of that one time five years ago when my dad killed himself by drinking and driving. Yeah. Not my idea of a fun conversation.

At one point, I heard someone call my name, and that's only when I bolted faster down the main hallway and into the safety of my Chemistry class. Then, because I had no excuse not to talk, I just didn't.

****

The bell rang for fourth period, and that's when I realized that Nate was going to have to see me in the state that I was in. I had been crying all day, and I really wasn't in the mood to have him catch a glimpse of me with my face and eyes all puffy. But I couldn't skip- I didn't have the guts to. Plus, attendance was a big part of grades. I didn't show up without a doctor's note and my grades would tank.