Chapter IV

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                 A week passed with Captain Brown stalking me from a distance. I don't know if he knew our dirty little secret or not. I feared for my career; I feared for my life. I'm so stupid....Why would I fall for a figure of authority that I'll never see again in just a few weeks? I never wanted to see Drill Sergeant McLaughlin again; I can not forgive him for stealing my heart. We began to be distant, not acknowledging each other. I couldn't risk a recycle or Article 15 over some petty love. It was petty...right?

               It was the start of the Anvil. With my ruck full and my weapon ready, I readied myself for the trip there. Standing in formation, I did my best to avoid eye contact with him. Though the feeling was forced, I did not want to delve into his trap again. I was just looking out for myself. But sometimes, when I began to trail off into my thoughts, I start to miss the feeling I had when we embraced; I miss his ever-soothing touch, lifting my stress and making me his.

              After the bus ride to our area of operations, we were placed at a tactical rest by Drill Sergeant Grande. Even with this, I heard him call my name. Before I could even set myself down to ease my back, I was up on my feet and rushing over to my Senior NCO. I came to him, entering the position of parade rest in the process. He began to speak.

               "Trainee," he said, "Drill Sergeant McLaughlin will be staying with you as a battle buddy for the night. He wants to fully monitor your skills, so I expect you on your top game tonight and not to disappoint him." He winked as he said the final sentence. I shook. I'm sure he was only teasing me about him but was he in on it? That thought was short-lived though, as I soon lost track of it even occurring when the sun started to dim. Even though a Drill Sergeant almost never lies, I began to believe that Drill Sergeant McLaughlin was never coming. Maybe he changed plans. I'm not hurt about it at all, of course, I'm not. I don't care about him...or at least that's what I tell myself.

               I heard the pace of footsteps coming towards my position. It was from inside my patrol base, so I remained calm. That was up until it came close to me, stopping right above my position. I turned to see who it was and my heart stopped. It was Drill Sergeant McLaughlin. I wanted to hate him; I tried to use everything within my soul to turn it sour, releasing my hatred, but it felt too forced; I couldn't do it. A compulsory smile was molded onto my face, breaking the facade of malice. In a flash, he whipped out his e-tool and started hacking away at the ground violently. This man of Greek-God limitations couldn't have taken more than 3 minutes to dig his hole. It was extraordinary, making me marvel at his sheer strength and aptitude. After setting his ruck in the foxhole, he started to unbutton his OCP top....I couldn't stop staring. My heart and mind locked my body, keeping my vision deadset on this angel. He awoke within my conscious something that had been sealed away since the start of BCT. That something is desire, pure desire. He took his top off and looked back at me, catching me in the act of staring. I turned away, yet he could only laugh at my futility. "There's more than just this to come," he said, winking at me before laying down in his hole. I gaffed at the situation. Again, I began to believe that I was dreaming. Was this a test to measure my resistance to him? No, it couldn't be that. He wouldn't go this far. He must be...He must actually be in love with me. Something inside me believes that he is a long-awaited prayer that has just been answered, but that couldn't be due to one strong fact: No one deserves him. He is the embodiment of what everyone and I need most out of a man. The absolute image of perfection is Drill Sergeant McLaughlin. 

                  0115. My weapon aimed towards the woodline. Though our patrol base has not been infiltrated, I laid ready for the inevitable outcome to transpire. A rustle was heard not even a few feet away from me. Had I failed my mission? Has someone come too close without me noticing? I turn my attention towards it and noticed that it was directly next to me. Actually, it was in Drill Sergeant McLaughlin's hole. I relaxed a bit, yet I did catch something from the corner of my eye. I noticed the contour of my man. He was undressing. I was starstruck. The atmosphere and moon lit the lowlight region of the forest, so his features were barely visible. What I could make out now though was that he was shirtless, exposing his torso. It seemed as if it was chiseled from marble. He soon laid down, falling into a deep slumber. The grip on my weapon began to slip from sweat. This man is tempting....I don't want to get caught though. Should I shoot my chance with him, to prove my love once and for all? I pondered on this thought for too long to remember. My head pounded, my heart heated up, and I began to heavily perspire. What should I do? What should I....

                  Without a second thought, I quietly set down my weapon. I peer around and found the two groups next to me sleeping. Expecting nonetheless, I slid back into my hole and peered over at my man. The light was covered by thick brush and trees, making it impossible to see him. I lifted my hand and placed it into his foxhole, feeling around for something I could grab onto. My fingers jolted; I felt something stiff and soft. I then noticed that it was Drill Sergeant McLaughlin's abs. They were perfect, symmetrical, and lean. With this, I needed more. I crept my body quietly over into his hole, positioning myself next to him. I embraced his physique. My plan was just to stay for a short while, get a bite out of his gorgeousness and go. Suddenly, the nerves on my back shot awake. The feeling soon turned into a warm one, fixing itself in the form of an arm. Wait...it was his arm. He was holding onto me, pulling me closer to him. It was now or never. I pressed my face onto his plump chest, feeling his heartbeat against me. His chest was like a pillow, too comfortable to ever want to leave. He...He was my Daddy. The warmth as I caressed my head up on his chest soothed me. He truly was The Drill Sergeant. Everything about this whole trip, from the stress of joining the Army to the most recent ruck, faded away as I laid on him, holding tightly so as to never let go. Under his breath, I heard him mutter, "Hell yeah." I giggled. From nothingness, a twig snapped in the distance outside of our base. My training kicked in and I shot to my hole swiftly, latching onto my weapon and laying ready to shoot the bastard that ruined my moment of purity. From the shadows, I saw a robust man emerge.

                  "Strike," an all too familiar voice said. My blood froze; it was Captain Brown. "Don't worry trainee, I'm not here for you." I pointed my weapon away from him as he stepped into our base. "I'm here for someone else..." My eyes followed him as he stepped over me, now peering into Drill Sergeant McLaughlin's hole. He rose from his position and I noticed that he was now fully dressed. I'm more than happy that we were not caught, but I fear for my angel's safety at this moment. "It seems as if this trainee has all the training they need," the Captain said in a matter-of-fact tone. "I suggest you leave them with a more 'proper' battle-buddy pairing." His words were stern, harsh in their monotone delivery. Drill Sergeant McLaughlin could do nothing, other than pack his stuff and leave with the Commander. Even if I knew I'd see him again, I began to cry from his departure. They had to be silent tears, lest I give away my desire. From this though, he became the benefactor of my optimism, driving me to the finish with every step I took for the Anvil. From this, a new thought spurred through my concise mind now:

I needed Drill Sergeant McLaughlin

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