(Nick)
And she drives off. I let out a sigh as I run my hands through my hair in frustration. "Fuck" I say to myself. Oh I fucked up. I fucked up bad , real bad. I should have told her . Why did I do this? I ruined everything, literally. I should have been just straight up with her in the beginning.
I walk back into the house , almost forget there was damn party going on. "Hey man we was looking for you , shot?" Zion comes up to me along side the 3 others "no guys I'm .. im done for the night" I shake my head "done?!" Edwin ask "does it look like these people are done?!" He ask.
I look around and I really don't care. "No , that has nothing to do with me" I say "just shut the party down when it's over, you guys can do it trust me" I nod "why you calling it quits?" Austin says "I just am" I answer "where's Yana?" Brandon ask "she left dude" I tell him "why?" He ask.
"You guys are asking a lot of questions" I say "our bad" Edwin raises his hands up defense. "One more question, are you good?" Austin ask "why you ask?" Now I'm asking the questions "you seem off , you were great 10 minutes ago and now not so much" He tells me "I fucked up"
They look at each other and then realize "how she find out?" Zion ask "Hollys drunk ass" I answer "don't mean to be rude now , but told you so" Austin says "you're right , you fucked up , you could have prevented this Nick" he adds "you should have been straight up but you decided to hide it" he finishes
"I fuckin know" I say. "I'm heading to bed now , when it's time shut this shit down"
(Next morning)
I wake up the next morning, Yana on my mind. I don't know if I should give her time or call her. If I call her she'll be mad that I called that and she'll tell me she doesn't wanna talk to me. But If I don't call her what if she thinks I don't care and that i don't wanna talk about this. I feel horrible.
I knew I should have said something. I sure as hell didn't think she'd find out. I was almost positive Holly wouldn't say anything but I guess Drunk Holly didn't get the memo. I mean it's also my fault. I should have told her and I understand that now. But now it's to late. What if I lost her?
What will I do? I don't know. I honestly really feel something for her and with her. I've been single for 4 years now. I've messed with my fair share of girls over those last years. But it never like this. With past girls it was just a quick fuck or two and that was it. I was single and having fun.
Like most people , like most single people. Just out acting like single people. I wasn't trying to find anything special , I wasn't looking and they always say it comes to you when you aren't looking. Then I would go to that spot and think and clear my mind. Didn't expect anyone to ever be there and there she was there like perfect timing almost.
It wasn't like any other time when I see a girl out somewhere.
I would meet a girl and wanna automatically just have sex with her. I met Yana and I just didn't wanna fuck. I wanted to talk to her . Spend time with her , get to know her and actually build something with her. So that's what I did , that's what we did. And I love spending time
with her so much.
Now the thought of losing her before we could even get so serious. It's my fault I know I that. But I need to fix it before it's to late. I think I should give her time maybe I'll send her a text later so she doesn't think I don't care but I know she doesn't wanna talk to me right now and I totally understand that.
(Yana)
I fuckin knew it , I knew something was going on. I should have tried harder to know. That whole time. That whole entire time I was clueless. I looked so stupid. I mean If anything I would expect Holly to at least tell me but she didn't. Instead she had to be drunk to accidentally say it.
Just telling me the truth would have been so much better. The fact that it was kept me from me is what hurts the most. And he's telling me all that stuff and the whole time he had a secret that he use to fuck my best friend.
Holly knew how I felt about Nick and still never told me that her and Nick use to mess around. This whole time and they been acting strange. I knew something was up . But that! I don't know what to do. I like Nick , I really really like Nick. And Holly she's my best friend but as my best friend she shouldn't have done that.
If Nick really cared for me and liked me he would have told me ... right? You would think. I don't wanna stop doing what we're doing. I wanna keep it going. I love hanging out with him. It's been a rough month and a half and he's made it better. I have a distraction from the "real world"
I love how he makes me feel but I don't know if he gets a second chance.
