If I wasn't already dead, I'd say work kills me. I have a boring desk job in purgatory. Contrary to what some people think, whether you go to heaven or hell is decided at the front door. As for me, I get to look through people's shitty lives and decide where in hell they go. Not many people have this job despite how much people die, then again, there is no time here, so they won't know. The one other person I work with, Celeste, she's an interesting person. I've met a few angles before, they're rather similar. The same boring smile, social, and very happy. So annoying. Celeste however, she can be rather shy which is odd considering her job requires her to talk to people. I don't see her smile much, then again, she's usually facing her computer. While I decide people's punishments and torment, Celeste look at people lives and finds what gives them the most joy. I'd say between the two of us, I have the more interesting job. The door opens and people start filling in. I look over to see Celeste take a deep breathe to prepare for the day. I however take a deep breathe because "life" is about to get boring. The first person to walk up is some scraggly middle-aged man. "Name?" I say already exhausted, "James Macalister. Hey, so I noticed that you are a demon, am I going to hell?" He asked concerned. "Well, that's not for me to decide, however I do get to decide how terrible your experience in hell will be". "But I went to church every Sunday and I read the bible" tears are starting to form in his eyes. "Well sir let me see," I pull up his life summary, "So you were religious. I see you frequented a bar called the Eagle Lounge, you seemed to drink a lot. You made sure to have a ride home which is good, but you weren't the nicest to your family. Not the worst," I continue listing a few minor things that would explain him being in hell, while being religious isn't an easy ticket to heaven, it can help. "Ah this could explain it, in your late 50's you participated in same rather racist gatherings. Do you have an explanation for that?" He hangs his head down, "No, I did all that.". "Okay then, head down that hallway and enter the third door on the left.I look over to see the people In Celeste's line and see a bunch of smiling faces, kinda freaky. The next person to walk up is a woman in her mid 30's. Which is a little odd as people's appearance in the afterlife is what they looked like when they were doing the most good/bad. Not many people come in looking young. "Name?". "Karen Filmen". "Karen... ah, so from the looks of it, you're here because of how much you've assaulted people on person and online.". In a very spiteful tone, "And you're upset at me for teaching them a lesson? Those ungrateful people are assaulting other, trespassing, and just flaunting the rules as if they don't even exist.". I roll my eyes, "Ma'am, I'm not the one who decided you are going to hell..." She rudely interrupts, "Then send me to who does. I need to have chat with him". "Well Karen, if you're asking to speak with God, she's a "her" not "him" also, you are the one who decided, you went to hell based of the life you lived, now head down that hallway and enter the 9th door on your left.".The next couple of people are the usual abusers, rapists, some all-around shitty people. I look over and decide to listen in to what people Celeste gets. She's speaking in a very timid tone. "Well um Alex, I see you helped a lot of people, that's nice, uh, head down that hallway and enter the first door on your right.". I smile as I'm slightly amused at her awkwardness. Celeste talks to the rest of the people, all giving people. As the final person walks down the heaven hallway, she gets up from her desk and heads over to the lounge. There are a few chairs a couch, a table with some Earth magazines and newspapers so we can stay up to date with their dumb politics and whatnot. She sits down in a chair, isolated in the corner. She has her head hanging slightly, I assume to avoid eye contact with me. I decide to walk over, "Hey Celeste" she glances up at me, "hey". We haven't talked much, mostly the occasional small talk about work. I kneel down next to her. "I know we don't talk much but I gotta know, if you're so shy, how did you end up with a job that requires communication? Did you piss of God?". She had a very puzzled look, "No, nothing of the sort. I'm sure you've heard of how she is; it's always riddles.". "I know what you mean, but that didn't really answer my question." "Oh, she told me 'You may not see it now, but this job is where you belong' I don't want to defy God, but I don't see how I belong here.". "That definitely is cryptic, at least Satan is up front with you, 'You will be bored to death, oh wait you're already dead' and he is right.". Celeste chuckles, "I guess that is better than a riddle". I smile slightly, something about here laugh is so pure, I hate that I'm enjoying this. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow." I leave before Celeste could respond.
