Something Wicked

Chapter 2: My Friend of Misery

Dinner consists of two cans of SpaghettiOs, two bottles of Dr Pepper, and some random horror movie Max finds on TV. We eat in the living room, each of us with our own wooden TV tray. I sink into the lumpy couch cushion when I take my seat, nearly kicking my tray over in the process.

"Sorry, I probably should've warned you about that." Max chuckles as she perches herself at the edge of the couch.

"It's fine," I mumble as I adjust my positioning. "So, um, what do you do for fun?" I ask in an attempt to make conversation. My gaze stays focused on my bowl, stirring the noodles around with my spoon.

"Well, if I'm being honest, there isn't a lot to do around here." Max answers a moment later, pursing her lips as she thinks. "I go for a lot of walks." She shrugs and glances over at me.

"Nice, walks are nice." I nod, abandoning the spoon in my SpaghettiOs in favor of my pop. After a long drink, I try for another question. "Do you have any friends you hang out with?" Only when she raises an eyebrow at me with an amused smirk do I realize how my question sounds. "Not that I think you wouldn't have friends, obviously. I just mean- I'm sure you do have a friend- friends, plural. I'm going to shut up now." I sigh and cover my face with my palm, cheeks hot with embarrassment.

"Yeah, I have a couple friends." She laughs.

"Sorry," I mumble into my hand.

"It's all good. But yeah, we aren't really that close anymore, actually." She frowns a bit, stirring her food around absently as she gets lost in her thoughts. "I sorta distanced myself from them after Billy, uh, well- you know..." Her voice trails off, avoiding my gaze now as she shifts her attention to the TV. The light washes her skin a pale blue, the shadows almost hiding her expression. But I can see the pain in her features. I nod, trying to think of something to say.

"I get that," She looks over at me now, waiting for whatever I have to say next. "I mean, I didn't really have a lot of friends to begin with, but after the fire..." My lips press together as I search for the best way to explain this. "Basically anyone that was associated with me disappeared off the face of the Earth?" It comes out as more of a question, like I'm not even sure that's what happened. "I'm kind of grateful for it in a way, honestly. It made moving here a lot easier, that's for sure." I scoff, my leg bouncing anxiously.

"Yeah," She nods. Pity laces her voice and I hate it. I hate the way she looks at me, like I'm something fragile that needs to be handled delicately or else I'll shatter. I swallow down a spoonful of food and train my gaze on the television, ignoring how she continues to stare at me.

A swell of emotions grows in my stomach, spreading out to the tips of my fingers. My jaw clenches, heat burning in every limb as I try to keep my breathing even. After it's clear I'm not going to speak again, Max's attention goes back to the movie. My food isn't even half finished when I suddenly stand up, collecting my dishes. The movement causes my cousin to glance at me but she doesn't stare.

The ceramic bowl clatters against the linoleum countertop as I try my best not to toss it down. My hands ball into fists on either side of the dish while I focus on the breathing technique a nurse taught me back when I had a panic attack in the hospital.

My chest slowly loosens and the heat fizzles from my fingers as I push off the counter. The muscles in my shoulders relax as I roll my arms around once, shaking out my hands. Being in control of my emotions, especially anger, was at the top of my list of things I needed to work on. Too embarrassed to join Max again in the living room, I quietly eat over the sink, staring out the small window just above it. I can help but note that it has a perfect view of the trailer across the way that the boy had gone into earlier, his van still parked out front. A hum vibrates in my chest as I shrug, scooping the last bite of food into my mouth.

Water sloshes onto my shirt as I clean my dishes, gently setting them in the drying rack beside the sink. The cold glass of my pop bottle presses into my palm as I lift it to take a final drink, tossing it into the garbage once it's empty. A flurry of thoughts fill my head as my gaze fixates on the floor, my back pressed to the edge of the countertop with my arms tightly hugging my waist. When Max appears in the doorway of the kitchen, I don't even notice her, too deep in my mind to realize she's there.

My eyes snap up when she coughs, using it as a means to alert me of her presence. Her shoulders lift with her eyebrows, bringing my attention to her empty bowl and I huff out an apologetic breath.

"Sorry," I mutter, moving away from the sink to give her access. The younger girl doesn't say anything in return, simply shrugging as she scrubs her dish and sets it beside mine in the drying rack. Awkward silence settles over us, Max shifting from foot to foot. The cogs in her head whirring as she searches for the right words.

"I-" She starts, voice cutting off when she realizes that she doesn't actually know where she's going with her sentence. Her head shakes and she switches gears, changing her approach. "Um, I think there are extra sheets for your bed on the shelves by the washing machine at the end of the hall." Her thumb hooks over her shoulder. An emotion flits across her face that I can't fully observe before it disappears when she leads me through the trailer.

With my bags and boxes moved to the hardwood floor, Max helps me stretch the maroon fitted sheet over the mattress. I thank her when she comes back a few moments later with two pillows and a folded comforter, setting them on my bed. The gray pillow cases are dull and most definitely used, a couple old stains littering the fabric. An embarrassed apology slips past her lips when she sees them. I wave it off, adjusting them at the head of the mattress.

"My mom won't be home until late, so she'll probably sleep in late." Max explains as I sit on the edge of the freshly made sleeping space. "Um, if you want, maybe we could go into town and get some breakfast? I could show you around town, too."

"Yeah, that sounds cool, sure." I offer a smile. Max nods and glances around.

"Sorry this place sucks," She blurts out, scanning around the dull room. The yellow light from the ceiling fixture reflects poorly off the walls, making the paint look a sickly green color. "Like, I'm sure you miss your old room and it was probably better than this one by a long shot." She huffs, crossing her arms over her chest, closing herself off with her body language. She's embarrassed and it's obvious. Now it's my turn to look at her with pity.

"No," I mumble and watch her, feeling guilty for my outburst earlier. "I mean, I don't miss my old room. I really don't," I murmur softly, picking at the fabric of the sheet under my thighs. "This is more than enough, plus I'm happy for a chance at a new beginning." I shrug, attempting to act as if this is no big deal.

"Yeah," is all she says before pursing her lips, twisting her upper body towards the door before the rest of her follows suit.

My chest constricts as she turns away. I want to say something, I should say something, but nothing comes out as she leaves. The door closes with a click as she pulls it shut behind her. After a beat of silence, I push to my feet and grab the folded comforter from the foot of my bed. I spread it over the mattress and move to flick the light switch off on the wall beside the door, drowning the room in darkness. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust, using the small bit of moonlight dripping in through the window to find my way back. Pain tingles in my foot when I stub my toe on the leg of the bed frame. Tucking the fabric of the blanket under my chin once I crawl into bed, I stare into the shadow-filled space around me, trying not to think too much about anything. I will sleep to come quickly, praying for no more twisted nightmares, desperate for one night of peaceful rest.