Departure

Part 1

When Pa and Ink invited him to their engagement dinner, he knew that it would be a struggle. With the kind of bond that Pa and Pran has it's no surprise that she wanted Pran to be there as well. Sure, he could have told them that he would prefer that Pran not come, but this wasn't about him. Pa deserved to be surrounded and celebrated by the people she loved. Yes, one of those individuals would include someone that he's still hopelessly in love with, but he would do anything for Pa. Including facing the one person who carelessly threw him to the side. Now that same person has him cornered outside in the garden begging him to talk to him.

"You still love me Pat, you must." Pran blurted out shakily, "And I still love you."

Pat wanted to believe Pran's sudden confession. He needed to, but a small part of him was holding back. He was still hurt and upset. Every nerve in his body was screaming for him to lash out, but he refused to do anything that would spoil Pa and Ink's night. 

He glanced down trying to calm his emotions and noticed that Pran was wearing the watch. No not the one from when they were kids, the one he bought Pran to replace it. The one that he gave to Pran as his "engagement ring" when he proposed. He hardly saw Pran wearing it when they were married and had to often beg him to put it on, so to see it on his wrist now confused and angered him. His eyes darted back up to Pran's face in shock. What was Pran trying to do?

"Pran, you signed the divorce papers and haven't talked to me since you left to go to Singapore. How is that love?" He didn't want Pran to know how much his silence affected him but seeing him wear the watch triggered him.

"I did it because I had to, not because I wanted to."

He had to?! Pat thought incredulously. As usual, Pran's response made no sense, and he didn't have the mental capacity to try to decipher what he meant.

"Pran I can't go through this again. It will never be the same." Pat was aware that he sounded cold and dismissive. He didn't care anymore.

He watched Pran walk towards him closing the distance that Pat purposely put between them. The feeling of Pran's hands settling on his waist sent shivers down his spine. Night after night he had yearned to feel his touch again. And here he was, his Pran.

His body stiffened when he felt Pran rest his forehead against his and whisper, "You're right it won't be the same. It'll be better. I will be better. I promise I've changed. Just give me a chance to show you."

Pat felt himself being swayed by Pran's words, then all the reasons to stop came rushing to his mind.

Pat swiped at the tears that had fallen then glanced down at the note that was still in his hand.

'Let's end it here while we still love each other'

He didn't tell anyone that he was doing this. Not even his own sister knew. Yes, he was heartbroken, but he couldn't bring himself to tell everyone about their issues. He didn't want Pran to be labeled as the bad guy because he really wasn't. Honestly Pran is amazing and perfect, it's him who is the problem. He didn't want everyone to know about his own shortcomings. He didn't want to admit to them that he was sure that his clinginess is what caused the rift between him and Pran.

He was oblivious when they were younger, but once he realized his feelings for Pran, he jumped headfirst into showering him with all the love and attention he deserved. Going out of his way for years to adapt to all Pran's quirks and rules. And when they finally started to talk about marriage and their futures, he was determined to be the one who proposed first. Looking back at his actions over the years, maybe his eagerness was too much for Pran to handle. He was suffocating Pran and didn't realize it until it was too late.