Departure

Part 3

"Pat, you know what - nong nao! 20 minutes!"
"Seriously?! You want to use that now? We're finally talking about things and - "
"This isn't talking. This is us yelling. So yes, I'm calling nong nao."

Pat and Pran finally talk and well...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Is everything okay?"

He started at the voice and shifted his attention from his phone back to the person in front of him.

That's right. Pat thought guiltily.

He was on a date.

Pat was determined to create a new life outside of Pran after the divorce. He switched up the days he went to the market to avoid accidentally running into him. He worked out a schedule between their mutual friends so that they could still hang out separately without having to feel awkward around both of them. He made fewer trips to his parent's house because, well...that was self-explanatory. Amongst his ever-growing list of things he had to adjust to, finding a new gym to go to was also included. Yes, he would miss his old gym, the equipment, the people, and weirdly enough the smell, but it reminded him too much of Pran. Everything still reminded him of Pran, and he hated it. He was so deeply embedded in his life that Pat was willing to do just about anything to remove him.

Which is why he was at this restaurant eating lunch with Jay.

After finishing his workout one day, something had yet again reminded him of his ex-husband and caused him to mentally go down the consuming black hole that is all things Pran. Which meant he was not paying attention to his surroundings. That's when he bumped into Jay, knocking the man's phone and water bottle out of his hand. What started with Pat apologizing profusely and offering a smile to Jay any time he saw him, quickly turned into a friendship that involved sharing workout routines, song recommendations, and the occasional after-workout meal. After some time, Pat quickly figured out that Jay had developed a crush on him, not that Jay was doing a great job at hiding his feelings. At first, Pat politely turned him down because he wasn't ready to start dating yet (honestly, he still isn't). But after battling with his thoughts, he decided to take up Jay's offer to go out on a real date to 'see if there were any sparks between us.' Saying to himself, what's the worst that could happen?

Oh, how wrong he was.

Okay, it wasn't that the date was going badly - it was quite the opposite. Pat was genuinely enjoying Jay's company. The issue was that nothing was happening. No sparks, no maybe this could work out if I... - nothing was there. He felt absolutely no romantic feelings for him. He wanted them to continue being friends.

And now here he was sitting across from Jay wondering how he could gently turn him down without hurting his feelings. He wholeheartedly (and maybe a bit prematurely) thought that it would be a good idea to try going out on a date, but no matter how well they got along, he just couldn't see himself with this other man. Pat felt kind of bad, Jay is a nice guy. Truly, anyone would be lucky to have him. He's handsome, funny, kind, and loves to exercise - all the things that Pat should be drawn to, but ten minutes into the date Pat realized that this wasn't going to work out between them.

He never understood how people could confidently say 'It's not you, it's me.' It always seemed like a lame excuse to not take responsibility for their actions, yet here he was having those exact thoughts. As great as his friend may seem, the previous owner of Pat's heart had unfortunately left his belongings behind, and as much as he tried Pat wasn't ready to get rid of them just yet. The space was still occupied and the thought of clearing it out to invite someone else in... yeah he's not ready for that.