...Why did I run..?

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~Chapter Four~


~...Why did I run..?~


"I- I'm dead...." I thought, unable to form any other thoughts than the worst, constant self blame running through my head as all I could do was stare at the counselor in front of me. From when she swirled her chair to the cabinets, as she shuffled, searching for the object she yearned, all the way to the moment she picked up the phone, and, before she could even dial the first number, the simplest words left my mouth before I could even think of anything. "I need to use the restroom!" I said much louder than planned as I abruptly stood up pushing my chair back a little more violently than intended, which, in turn, made an instinctive "sorry.." mumble from beneath my breath.

Though, I was able to put all my will into not storming out of that room in order as to not bring more attention to the behavior that I am aware must seem awful right now, so I await her response, hoping for the right one, and if not, well then I'll jus- but, before the lingering thought could continue, there was a soft and gentle "Oh, okay, it will probably be some time before your dad arrives, so I see no problem with that." She said much too slowly for my heart to handle in the moment, but as soon as she finished I rushed as fast as I could to the door, before there was an added "don't take too long, though, I want to discuss some more things with your father present." which received a quick nod from me, and, just like that, I was out of there.

I bolted. My fears and anxieties felt as though they were pursuing me as I fled which only made me want to move faster. I just bolted, from the moment I closed the door I booked it straight through the halls without any regard for anyone in the way. I ran and ran and ran some more. I was dashing so quickly yet it felt like I just couldn't quite run fast enough to stave off my overwhelming panic. My mind was moving a million miles per second. And, although I could feel the pain from the beating prior to today, the fear I felt was much stronger, which was able to keep my legs alive and the adrenaline coursing through my veins. But, the sense of almost being free was shattered as Aizawa came face to face with me, and then, at that moment I realized, I forgot one vital issue with this plan...I'm in a school. A high end, multi-million dollar school, at that. Which meant cameras everywhere.. And... Pro heroes. Just that thought made me skid to an instant halt as I stared him in the eyes much longer than I would have liked "Nezu contacted me that you were running through the halls, midoriya we're all here to help you, so please, calm down and let's head back into the office and discuss the issue at hand. We really do want to help you, but, we can only do so if you allow us to." he spoke gently, as if he were talking to a frightened animal, but then I could see it.. myself in the reflection of the glass, and I understood now.. I am the frightened animal...

But I had no more time to judge my appearance, because he had more to say, which certainly triggered something in me.. And I hated it.."Midoriya-'' one step closer "let's go back to the office, I know discussing mental or physical problems with a parent can be difficult and awkward," a few more steps were taken "but, we all will help you. Look, your dad said he's on his way, okay? And we can all discu-" fear. I felt all the immense fear as my father's involvement was mentioned. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, all I could do..was turn, and run the other way, I think there was something of a holler behind me, but in my frantic state I couldn't care less, the only thought rushing through my head was "faster, faster, faster!" which just seemed to play on repeat over and over again while blaring alarms sounded, but, again, I didn't care. "Escape, escape, escape!" another word on repeat.

As I was running I just couldn't stop thinking why.. Why was this happening to me? All because of a single bruise. It was going so well.. They were always hidden, so why, "just why must everything always get ruined for me?!" I internally screamed as my hand instinctively went to the swollen bruise resting on my cheek, heavy breaths escaping...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was not many instances when wounds were left on my face, or in suspicious areas in general, but, this time, was one of the rare occasions it would happen, and, as to not get my father in trouble for the very prominent bruising, there was always a drill we'd follow whenever it would happen. He'd stomp into the room with a constant look of disgust aimed towards me, or even just the world in general. A blue, easily identifiable ice pack rested in his right hand as he stomped towards me before coming to a halt inches away from my position on the ground, not daring to stare directly at the man, "stand up, you look so pathetic." His voice was laced with venom, but I obediently did as commanded, and as such, before I could properly stand straight, he pulled my face forward by my hair and shoved the ice pack onto my cheek with immense force which provoked a wince of pain, the iced object effectively hiding the bruise after an hour of contact with my bared skin... Such a normal act, the only gentle-like contact I receive from him, pleasant as it could ever get, only to save his ass.. But, I'd never want it any other way....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can finally see it.. The exit of the building, as though things are finally going my way "thank you.." I muttered as I, as fast as possible, pushed the big glass door open only to see a car pulling into the parking lot, which was all too familiar.. Father's here...

Of course! If something goes even a little bit in my favor, then everything else needs to go to shit. I locked my eyes with him which was my first mistake, and even worse, I heard multiple set of footsteps coming from behind me. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm screwed! But, I don't- I just don't want this to be the end..I want to live, I want to.."Be free..." I whispered to my brain, but it seemed to come out as incoherent words as the doors I previously came out from opened again, "Midoriya! please let's just go back to my office!" Mrs. Asami.. "Midoriya you can't run from your problems, instead let's try to help you manage them better" sir... Mr. Aizawa.

I'm sorry but... "NO!" I screamed before I saw my father rushing towards me, which just made my fight or flight instincts kick in, and.. I chose flight. As I enhanced my speed as much as I possibly could and rushed out and away from any sign of that wretched school and that monster, even when my legs burned like bloody hell. I just kept pushing and pushing, without looking back for even a second. I felt no regret towards my actions.. But... I felt immense nausea from the growing anxiety and pain. It became so unbearable that I finally found a resting spot in a tight alley. When the adrenaline wore off, the rest of the day was spent with aches and pains escaping from the end of the alley, possibly spooking any passerbyers, until the inevitable happened. I passed out from all of the aggravated wounds, darkness that shut out the light as well as my consciousness... It was finally peaceful.....


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