It's Nothing [A Fanfic]

It's nothing

It was nothing. No, it was something. But it wasn’t a big deal. The orange pill bottle that came home with her, hidden in her purse, and had her name printed in neat capital letters
wasn’t a big deal.

Not even when she put it on the kitchen counter, slightly hidden by a teapot. If asked, she would swear she didn’t tuck it in the corner on purpose. Joyce Byers didn’t hide from the demogorgons that hurt her son, she wouldn’t hide from pills.

Except she did.

She was curled up on the couch, her legs tucked under her and a blanket over her lap. She was staring at where the hole in the wall used to be. Sometimes, after a really long day, Joyce can still hear Lonnie hammering the wood into the wall. She can hear him calling her “Babe” or feel him sliding a hand just a little too low down her back.

Joyce shivered. She didn’t want to think about Lonnie would say about her starting medication again.

She didn’t want to hear about what anyone had to say about her starting her medication again. Not that she would ever say anything. But Hopper had started spending a lot of time at her house. El and Mike were always right on his heels as they walked through the door (they stopped knocking after the first visit).

Hopper was bound to notice. He took in every detail, always on edge in case something was wrong. The orange pill bottle that Joyce was hiding would be the first thing he would find.

Joyce felt her shoulders relax as she imagined the conversation between them. His voice would be gentle and quiet, even though it was just them on the porch and the kids had gone to bed hours ago.

The pair had moved from talking at the kitchen table to the front porch shortly after Bob died. Joyce could barely sleep in her own bed, the guilt was too strong. It was late one night and she was sitting across from Hopper at the table. Her legs were pulled up against her chest.

Hopper stuck out his hand, “C’mon.” She raised an eyebrow but reached out and took his hand anyway. He led her out to the porch, the cold air bit at her arms through the old flannel she stole from Jonathan’s pile of clothes that morning.

“Maybe you’ll be able to breathe a little easier out here.” He smiled at her. Joyce took in a deep breath and sighed. “Thanks, Hop.”

She knew the conversation about her medication would go no different. They would be sitting outside, her on the swing and him in the chair closest to it. The swing would groan every time she moved but it was comforting. Joyce needed any bit of it that she could get.

“So, are we pill buddies now?” Joyce would let out a sigh through her nose and quip back, “Do you get El to open up to you with lines like that one, too?” Hopper would laugh and lean back in the chair, his legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankle. “You don’t have to hide it, y’know. Especially from me.”

And that would be that. Hopper would always be there to remind her when she forgot, when the time slipped between empty plates stacked on the table that needed washing and Will telling her about his latest art project that he was excited for her to see.

Joyce moved the blanket off of her lap and stood up. She knew she couldn’t hide from it forever. She had tried when she was 20 and it was back with her at 37

She stood at the sink and filled a glass of water. Her hands were shaking as she opened the bottle but soon it was just her and the one pill sitting in the palm of her hand. Joyce took a deep breath, put the medicine in her mouth and drank the water.

Like it was nothing.