fuck..!
I've never forgotten them before...this.....this cant be real..
its all a dream, right?
my unti-depressants were like my bestfriends. I couldn't live without them...it.. it'll be fine. just don't think about them..
...him..yeah, don't think about him...ok? you can do this, yoongi..
jimin: are you ok?
-he looked at me worried.
me: y-yeah, its just..
should I tell him?..
jimin: you can tell me hyung. I wont judge you.
we had gone this much closer. hw quickly our relationship progressed in a mere car, made me feel special. especially when he called me hyung.
it was the first time someone has cared or even pretended to care about me for once in a while. especially since HE die-
stop thinking about him..
jimin: hyung?
me: o-oh, sorry, I was just thinking... what was the question again? sorry
I asked shyly, scratching my head with embarrassment. jimin smiled.
jimin: I was asking if you were ok.~
me: r-right..uh..
should I mention it? he said he wouldn't judge me...
I sighed heavily, running my hand through my blond hair.
me: I..i forgot my unti-depressants..
jimin: o-oh..are you going to be ok?
me: I..don't know I really don't know.
I sighed again. you really are a failure...aren't you?
to my surprise he shuffled towards me, climbing over the piece of plastic separating our two seats. and grabbed my waist hugging me like a protective koala. his chocolate doe eyes looking at mine. they twinkled with hope.
jimin: I will be here for you...I will make sure you not sad. I know how it feels to be in your station.
me: thank you.
I whispered shakily, eyes growing teary. I'm so lucky..i don't even realize it..
I happened to meet this cute little office worker that looked like a model. and now? he is probably the best thing in my life.
..
agh..
what am I saying?
..but still..
if I was lying..my heart wouldn't be beating so fast right now. I'm..probably just in a wrong state of mind, I'm stressed after all.
Jimin's pov:
I wonder what's bothering yoongi..bothering him so much that he need to use unti-depressants..
eehh..maybe it would be best to ask yoongi himself once he's calm. maybe his station is similar to mine..
or.. the one that I WAS in.
I remember it so clearly.
their were so many incidents..but for some reasone, this one stands to me the most.
namjoon: don't move, Babyboy. joonie needs to get his equipment.
I breathed a sigh of relief once he had left the room for his usual 4 minutes. and also as usual, he has chained me up to the wall in the torture room.
namjoon only forced me to wear underwear or some stupid outfits he'd bout whenever he was present. if I gained the lightest bit of weight, he would punish me. I had to be perfect or he would kill me for sure.
the door opened
namjoon: I'm back.~
-he cooed. he shut the door with a smirk. his favorite equipment sat In his hands: his baseball bat and belt.
namjoon: are you ready Babyboy?
-he moved the black locks way from my face.
me: yes..
-I mumbled
namjoon: what was that? look at me.
- I spoke once again but louder.
me: YES, NAMJOON.
namjoon: did you forget something?
- his tone tightened and so did the my handcuffs.
me: yes, n-namjoon..
I swallowed when his eyes met mine. he wasn't happy. namjoon dug the baseball bat into my thigh, his threating glare sends chills down my spine.
me: y-yes d-daddy.
namjoon: good bay..now..shall we continue?
yoongi's pov:
hoseok..
do you miss me too?
I still miss you so much.
I remember how you died so clearly.
hoseok: yoongi! over here!
my sunshine waved the other side of the road. dressed up in his flowless, sleek suit.
I loved him so much...he had made an offer for our 3rd anniversary. causing me to love him even more that before.
he started walking over to me.
me: I love you so-
beep!!!
me: HOSEOK!!!
I remember it so vividly.
the blood spraying across windscreen..
the tears falling down my face.
at that moment, I truly knew what real pain felt like.
the sight of my world..crushing to an end.
how his trembling needy hands trying to reach out to me.
his final breath weakly escaping his lips.
hoseok: I..i..l-love..
I rushed over to him and embraced him in my arms.
I begged and begged for him to stay with me.
he died that day.
died in my arms.
I hated myself from that day onwards.
I hated myself for not jumping in front of that car so that he didn't have to suffer.
I hated myself for being to slow.
if only my brain had a better reaction time, he wouldn't have died.
if only I was like everyone else.
if only I was perfect.
if only..
..you were still here, my beautiful hobi...
