Vicky: Fucking pump! Where.. Ah! Found! Here it is! Let's repeat rules of the game, my dear brood of disturbed children...
Heavy: Hm... who... the.. victory...That... whom...
Dee: You, me, and Valkyrie, Heavy, play as debtors. And we pay our loan by hard labors.
Valkyrie: If we lose, you will be cleaning the house for a week.
Heavy: Wait a minute! If dad loses, then will he clean the house?
Glam: No
Valkyrie: Pfft.
Heavy: Crap! But why?!
Vicky: 'cuz me and dad play for money. And if we lose, then we lose money.
Valkyrie: I wanted to play for money too. But i kept getting told i'm-
Glam, Vicky, and Valkyrie: too young to gamble.
Vicky: It's all because of we are adults. And you're kids... Fuck! Glam, shuffle cards
Glam: Okay
Vicky: Well.. if you do it so good, then distribute chips.
Glam: Okay
Vicky: And rules are friggin' crazy! Hands are formed of five cards
Heavy: Wow!
Dee: Mum, I think everybody knows rules of this game.
Vicky:No, you don't know rules of THIS game. Hands are formed of five cards, BUT each player gets only TWO of it!
Heavy: No way!
Dee: Oh, come on, Heavy! Did you not know about it, really???
Valkyrie: yea, heavy, thats, like, kindergarten in the world of card games!
Vicky: Hey! If you are so smart, may be then you will explain us the rules?
Dee: Texas holdem, or no-limit holdem, differs from classic poker by dealing two hole cards.After allowed stakes first three cards are dealt. It's called flop. Then...
Vicky:Oh, man. Enough Such an egghead... Where is that green cock?
Glam:Hm... We decided do not buy a green cock because... Oh, you mean Ches! He had to come at 4pm. It's 5:30pm already. He will come at 5 minutes, explaining his late arrival by a lie a la "moving grandma across the road"
Vicky: Nah.., He can't be so predictable. Probably he...
Ches: Hey.. guys, hi! Oh, there're a lots of grandmas along the roads, you wouldn't believe!I just couldn't pass by
Vicky: You entered through the window again, didn't you?
Ches: Grandmas... they are like good whiskey. Over the years...
Valkyrie: Amen brother
Vicky: Fine. Well, let's begin? Oh...Hiding emotions is the most important thing in poker. 'cuz nobody knows what cards you have...What the fuck!? It's total shit! Who dealt? Whose hands to piss?!
Glam: Raise 35
Vicky: Whaaat?! First round! Is checking so hard?!
Valkyrie: reraise 60
Vicky: you too!?
Dee: Mum, you just said that emotions should be hided...
Vicky: How should I fuckin' hide them, if there is such a muck. Anyway, I... Fold
Ches: Oh, guys... There's nothing to do with two aces...
Heavy:You discarded two aces?!
Dee: He didn't! Hi just wants to complicate you! Two aces shouldn't be an utter true.
Valkyrie: Yea, heavy. Ches is dull, not stupid.
Dee: Hm, reraise 150
Heavy: Where is those five cards I should make a set with?
Vicky: It's not! Say 'thanks' to dad!Now we need to approve the stake to see first three cards.
Heavy: Oh, then I.. um... pass
.Glam: Call
Vicky: How is that?! Fucking cards! I'm going for a beer.
Glam: Dee, do you know software called CL-Brutus?
Dee: Something about hacking?
Glam: Yes. You know that I installed security software Shave-PIN to limit access to some websites that could harm you and your two siblings.
Dee: So what? Somebody tried to hack security and to get access to websites using CL-Brutus? Valkyrie: So naive...
Glam: No, Somebody bypassed security and GOT access with software disguised as CL-Brutus. But using Guesser-350
Raise 350
Valkyrie: what's that sort of knowledge to us?
Reraise 200
Dee:Yea. Guesser-350 is expensive. It's definitely adult who did it
Reraise 800
Glam:...or it was a kid but really bright. Someone who is best at school and earns money by helping his schoolmates. or a young lady who babysits for a very wealthy family and earns good money from it. people who could afford such expensive software.
Reraise 1500
Valkyrie: How? Even with our high paying salories, none of us could ever make that kind of money.
reraise 2000.
Dee: And we shouldn't exclude version that it could be an intruder with enough bankrollto purchase that software and to commit a Ddos-attack to establishments he is interestedin but framing a 'bright kid'. How convenient
Valkyrie: along with the knowledge that while we may have members of our household that are certainly tech-savvy enough to pull off such an attack, the only kind of sites you blocked were cites only an adult would want.
Dee:Reraise 3000
Vicky: Here I am! Is it still first round? What the fuck?! Oh man, it had to be all-in!
Ches:Vicky! Shh! Here is Clash of the Titans!
Glam: Do not overstate, Ches. It was usual explanatory conversation. I think Dee and Valkyrie are right! Our PERSONAL security was hacked by adult intruder to get access to websites forbidden in OUR network and to commit a Ddos-attack to establishments he is interested in.
Glam: All-In
Dee: Crap..
Valkyrie: shit.
Dee: Fold
Vicky: Glam, why kids are gray-headed?
Glam: I don't know! Heavy, you are the dealer. Distribute cards
Heavy: I will play accurate and will make stakes only if something cool comes... I do not understand! Does anything depend on me?!Oh, I lost everything...
Dee: Stop whining
Valkyrie: yea, heavy. shut it before i give you a reason to whine.....Shit.
Raise 35
Vicky: Hem... Oh fuck.. Such a crap cards I got...Maybe I... check
Ches:check
Dee:check
Heavy:check
Glam: check
Vicky: Why is Valkyrie the only one making stakes?! If I get any kind of shit, then everybody says "Raise-Reraise"!!!But when I have pocket kings then everyone makes "check check check"!? Fine, I leave this world. Heavy, I bequeath to you all my chips
Heavy: Really?!
Vicky: All my four chips
Heavy: Oh... thanks...
Vicky: That playing set is cursed. I'm gonna burn it when you finish
Ches: Guys... It's a game... We have to play in it...
Valkyrie: wow, Einstein. You truly are brilliant.
Dee: I am shocked. How does he do it? Dad! How can you lose to him? You know him all your life!
Glam: His emotions contradict to all his actions. I don't know how he does that. And I can't develop game tactics against him.
Dee:Yeah... Won't waste time
Glam: Final round
Dee: Okay, but I'm fold
Valkyrie: Same here, i never get anything good in these hands anyways.
Glam: I'm interested to check last sign of paranoid psychosis.. Ches? Final deal?
Ches: Are you trying to scare me?
Glam: Raise 2000
Ches: Call
Glam:Good. I have 4000. All-IN
Ches: As you wish. Call
Glam: Well, What do you have?
Ches; Wha-? I don't know I never check my cards. What's the intrigue then? Oh... Wow
Glam: Kids. Make the fire
YOU ARE READING
METAL FAMILY Valkyrie edition
Fanfictionnothing special, just adding Valkyrie into certain metal family episodes :3 if some things are wrong, i'm sorry! I got the transcript of the episode from the auto captions I DO NOT OWN METAL FAMILY, PLEASE SUPPORT THE ORIGINAL RELEASE! THIS IS MERE...
