Drunk Teen Actions

Extra - Neighbors

Back with more crack~

Enjoy~

✨

To say they were anything ordinary in their marriage would be the understatement of the century. That being said, Chuuya and Osamu attempted to at least seem ordinary from the outside when the couple finally moved from Chuuya's apartment across the city to somewhere between the Mafia and the Detective Agency. This meant new neighbors unfortunately, and they did love trying to chat the couple up. One elderly lady didn't seem to catch onto the fact that they were, in fact, married and often tried to set up Chuuya with her daughter.

That led to a particular occurrence at the Agency, with Osamu slumped over a container of the elder lady's annoyingly good brownies grumbling nonsensically.

Ranpo was never one to turn down free entertainment and made his way over to Osamu's desk.

"Trouble in paradise?" Ranpo asked, snatching one of the brownies.

"My neighbor is trying to set them up with her child," Osamu whined. "I married someone too nice, they never say no to her face."

Ranpo snorted. "Too nice" was not the sentence typically spoken in reference to the redheaded mafia executive.

"What's going on?" Atsushi asked, coming into the office from his lunch break.

"Dazai's elderly neighbor keeps trying to set their spouse up with her child," Ranpo said.

"Worried she'll find someone better, Dazai?" Yosano laughed from where she was not so subtly eavesdropping, as she often did since she learned Osamu was married and didn't get answers to her questions.

Osamu whined again, banging his head against the desk.

"Ranpo, you get me, right?" Osamu said.

"Hm? I don't know, I've never been married to them."

Osamu gave him a long suffering look that looked more at home on Kunikida's face than his. Ranpo snickered, grabbing another brownie.

"I mean if it's such a big deal, you should stake a claim!" Naomi popped in.

"He is not taking advice from the woman who regularly indulges in public indecency," Kunikida stated, however it seemed it was a little too late for damage control. Osamu was scheming as he looked at the remaining brownie.

Ranpo enjoyed entertainment but he knew where to draw the line.

"Dazai, do remember who you married. They wouldn't appreciate a big spectacle whether it helped them or not in this situation."

'It risked too much exposure' was left unsaid but heard well enough. Osamu grew serious and nodded.

"Point taken."

"They shouldn't have married Dazai if they didn't want a spectacle of everything," Kunikida muttered, a stare filled with resignation locked on the undone piles of paperwork on Osamu's desk as the man continued to lament his love's heart being snatched by another.

•••

How Ranpo ended up in this position, he wasn't entirely sure himself. While it had been his idea, one crafted to his own enjoyment, Osamu had absolutely ran with it at full speed with rainbow glitter and his usual demeanor of flamboyant chaos.

Osamu insisted he bring Poe over for a late housewarming barbecue, placed comfortably right in their driveway. Chuuya hadn't minded for some reason, only picking up groceries to suit his husband's weird whim.

It certainly took Poe by surprise, however, when the elderly neighbor hobbled over with her cane and a smile, politely asking about them. He huddled a bit closer to him as Chuuya smiled brightly at the older woman.

"My husband's coworker and his partner, Ma'am. We are having a small housewarming now that they can get away from work."

The old woman nodded, a little flustered as she looked between Chuuya who had hooked his arm around Osamu's waist.

Ranpo came to the slow realization that he had not accounted for Chuuya's own mischief streak. He leaned back into the seat, amused as he held Poe's hand in his, squeezing softly to ground his anxious boyfriend.

"We don't mind extra company if you'd like to join us, Ma'am?" Ranpo tacked on.

"No no, you boys have fun. I was just taking a stroll, it's good for my old bones. I'll see you around. Have a good day!"

"Goodbye," they chorused as the woman hobbled away.

Chuuya leaned back, a satisfied air to him.

"Anyone for a drink? I think I have good reason to celebrate."

✨

I don't suppose I could interest y'all in a Ranpoe fic after I finish this bad boy off?

Hoped you enjoyed this short little one shot, I've been wanting to write another sorta outsider POV of these nuisances lol.

Much love,

Your fruity author