Wait For Me

Unexpected

Sitting in the corner of the room, I found myself curled up on a chair with my sketchbook in my lap. The boys had all been back and forth getting ready, getting food before the show, and I believe even doing a meet and greet with a few lucky fans. 

All except Till. He had barely moved from his spot since coming into the room. 

I don't know what lead me to sitting here drawing the singer's face in my sketchbook, that none the less that is where I found myself. 

Glancing up at him as I traced the charcoal pencil across the paper, I found myself sucking in a deep breath when I noticed him looking my direction. My whole body seemed to freeze when I noticed the way the light of the room was reflecting off of his eyes.

There was a never ending war happening in those eyes- a battle for dominance between the blues and greens that surrounded his pupils. Jus like the never ending war that I imagined was happening inside his mind as well. What was it like? Was it anything like what was happening in my own mind? 

Till never seemed to look away from me, giving the chance to gather more and more small details from him as immediately copied them down into the pages in my lap. 

I was completely focused on his eyes. The emotions that seemed to be captured there. While there was no trace of it on his face- his eyes told a completely different story. It felt like my heart was breaking when I realized exactly what I was seeing in them. 

This was a man who had been broken many times over. A man who had pushed through and seemingly overcome the things of his past. A man who could still put a smile on his face when inside his mind there is a storm raging. 

"What are you drawing?" The voice suddenly appearing in my ear, had my jumping in surprise. Reaching out with my left hand, I quickly slammed the sketch book closed as I turned to look to my right. Paul was standing there, stage ready, with a smile on his face.  His arms were stretched out in front of him as he leaned against the arm of the chair I was sitting in. 

"Nothing." I mumbled, shaking my head. Shifting in my seat, I began tucking the pencils back down into their case. "What, is it something embarrassing?" Paul chuckled as he watched my movements. "You're very secretive, aren't you?" 

"No, I just don't like showing off my personal sketch book." I huffed. Leaning down, I was putting the pencils back into my bag when my sketch book was suddenly lifted out of my lap. "Give that back!" I shouted, looking to the man who had taken it. There was a slight whine to my voice as I said it.

With my focus on Paul, I hadn't even notice Till move from his spot across the room. The singer had been the one to grab the book from my lap, and was now flipping through its contents. I knew when he had landed on the one I was just working on by the way he paused to look over the page. I found myself holding my breath as he glanced up at me for only a brief moment before looking back down at the drawing. 

"You just did this?" He questioned me. When he looked up again, his eyes connected with mine. "Yes." I breathed out, nodding my head ever so slightly. 

If someone were to ask me how I felt in this moment, I wouldn't be able to answer them. Because I couldn't find the words to describe the emotions that I felt coursing through me right now. Anxious? Nervous? Scared? None of those words really seemed to capture what I felt to the true extent. 

I saw Paul move from the corner of my eye, moving so that he was standing next to Till in an attempt to look at the page as well. 

"It's very good." Till nodded his head before looking back down in the drawing. He looked at it for only a few moments before closing the book once more and offering it out to me. My hand shook ever so slightly as I reached out and took it back.