The Addicting Affair

13.

Set Me Free

Jordan's POV
The light guided me, helping me all that was around me. But it was a mist of nothing. Just empty space.

The empty space felt hollow and never ending. I take a few scared steps forward, hearing a small voice behind me.

I turn around, seeing my younger self. Not my sober self, but, my childhood self. 

The hurt child, the broken being I was. Scared of the world, thinking everything is a danger. Having no hope in the world.  Fearful of the bad people that this world brings.

He stood there, asking for my hand.

I found myself crying, sobbing, as I kneeled down, hugging him. My arms wrapping around him, the way I wish someone would have done for me at the time.

My tears drenching his shoulder, his stance strong as his small arms held me.

"I'm so sorry," I bawl my eyes out.

I'm so sorry for what I have become, and the future I've lead for him.

No one has hurt me the way I've hurt myself. 

No one has hated me, the way I hate myself.  

"Come on, we need to go," he says, I let him go, collecting myself before standing up.

I take a look at him, he still has his bruises and scars, but he stands tall.

I look around once again, asking him where we were. Where we were headed.

"No one really knows, but you need to leave. You shouldn't be here," he tells me, making sure we're still leaving.

Where am I?

I look around in the empty white abyss, just smoke and endless nothing.

Even when I got high, and took the most fentanyl I could, I'm still saddened with the view.

Is this really how I die? Trying to still reach the ultimate happy ending?

After all the years I spent, focusing on being better for others, and it worked for a while. But it failed to fill the void that was left in me.

All the times I tried killing myself, hoping heaven was my happy ending.

But it's not.

I don't want to leave life behind like this.

I've lived my entire life running away, hoping to chase and find something else. Happiness.

Never looking and healing within.

Failing to make myself truly happy.

I want my happy ending.

"We don't have much time," he says as he began pulling on my arm, the clouds becoming thicker.

I keep my eyes on him, every time we passed a gush of clouds, I'd see him again.

He then at last pulls me forward.