Love Stories ~ shorts :)

Thunder's confession

He does nothing. What is there to do? He is not the one begging for the perfect moment to tell me everything. The rain falls heavily, droplets hanging from his hair, his lashes. The dim lamplight flickers once, the clouds a lonely blue, thundering softly. There is only a sad smile shared between us, the only moment of mild intimacy we will ever have left. But when he turns on his heel, I find myself wanting to prolong the moment.
And there it was. The perfect time.
"I'm in love with you," I blurt out. There. It was all he needed to know.
And yet.
He stops dead in his tracks. "What?"
"I said I'm in love with you," I continue, and the words I never knew I had fall out of my mouth. Just tumbling in painful sentences, each a knife in my chest. "And I have been ever since my eyes fell on you. I've loved you through your pain, your joy, the sun and the sky, the time lost to the moments I regret. I have not stopped, and I know I never will."
He's speechless. Perhaps this was a mistake, burdening him with my feelings. He shouldn't have to carry that on with him. But I proceed.
"I have loved you in the moments where I think of you, as well as when I don't. I have loved you when you smile, when you're angry, when your imperfect and rough, because your human. I love you because you're real."
He stutters, and my heart leaps, just for a second. There was a hope I had diminished a long time ago, a spark of suspense-
"But you know I am in love with someone else," he says.
And the water puts out my weak flame of faith.
I tip my head down, unable to hide the pain etched in the lines of my face. I feel old, fragile. "I-I know," I manage to get out, wiping away a lone strand that had fallen from my ponytail. "But it aches less now. Now that you really know how I've felt all along."
But I lie. I lie to him again, just as I had been doing for years. It throbs and stabs in every corner of my soul, and I rarely manage to conceal it all. I shudder in the cold air, the frost chilling me to my core.
"You didn't think to tell me?" He said softly.
"How could I?" I murmur. "You were too happy to worry about hurting me."
"But I have been," he says.
"It's not your fault."
Silence. Not the silence that makes the room awkward, but the silence that is loud. The one that fills your ears and senses and makes everything seem alive, active. The thunder continues to drum its tribal melodies, the wind moans in unspeakable loneliness. The hollowed feeling I have now.
I choose to be the first to speak again. "So now you know-"
"Why you're not attending the wedding," he finished.
The wedding. The heat and the blur of the moment made me forget about the day I was dreading. His wedding to his fiancé of 2 years.
It was lucky that I had a plan. A plan to disappear, to let go. I had a plan that I would walk away from this interaction unscathed. But love will never be that easy.
Now, I shake my head. "I'm leaving town," I said, looking to the sky above. Birds flew across the atmosphere. If only I could fly, I thought. "I'm moving."
"Where?"
"I don't know," I answered. "I haven't figured that out yet."
"Come on, rosy. You can't go without a place to go to," he chuckled.
My nickname. It cleared my head for a moment, a fresh breath of nostalgia, before I looked to the floor and smiled. "I'll figure it out."
"Will I ever see you again?" He suddenly asked.
I sucked in a sharp breath. Looking him directly in the eye, I saw the way his iris darkened when I made contact. "No," I said. "I don't think you will."
He knew it was coming. "Rosy-"
"You've always been the best person I've known," I cut in. "Always worried about others, rather than taking care of yourself as often as one should."
"I don't want you to go," he said.
"Neither do I," I mumbled, before sighing.
"Could you at least stay for-?"
"I couldn't bring myself to. Don't you see? Love hurts."
"But you're strong."
"I want to be weak. Just this once."
When he didn't answer, I begged, "Please, Ty. For once in your life, don't worry about me."
He was about to throw back a sentence at me, before he thought better of it. He drew in a shaky breath, and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not going to forget you."
"You better not," I said, smiling for just a second. Then, I closed the distance between us, wrapping myself around him, an embrace that spoke of all and nothing; burying the deepest emotions in the darkest places of our heads, abandoning ourselves to the final moment of friendship we will ever have. Friendship. If only there was a chance to have more than that.
I took in the familiar smell of soap, mint and woodsmoke, of the Ty I've always known. Always loved.
We pull apart, and I find that my cheeks are wet from tears. I sniffle and chuckle. "Goodbye, Ty."
His face falls, but there is nothing left to speak of. So I turn my back, and begin to walk away. Every step is excruciating. I feel my chest heaving as I sob and cry, finally defeated by the overwhelming feelings of love.
I turn around to find no one there. Just me and the empty air, the lonely birds to comfort me, and the rolling clouds crusade over my head.
He will live and find happiness. He will grow old and his hair will turn grey, time will go on and his love will never die. Life doesn't stop when the dream does. The dream and the hope dies, but the leaves still turn brown, still freeze in the winter, the sun still shines brightly in the spring, and the spring turns to the summer. Life will go on without me, he will learn. Just as I will have to live without him, like I have loved without hope for such a long time.

So when I see a single beam shoot through the dark clouds of the storm, I smile. It's not much, but it's enough to restore my faith.