After experiencing a life-altering tragedy, Emersyn feels as if her world has collapsed. Attempting to accept her new reality, Emersyn wonders how she can possibly keep going when it feels like her life ended months ago. Until she meets Haven, and s...
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I'm overwhelmed the moment I step foot into the massive cafeteria.
It's rowdy, the space filled to the brim with students speaking at once and wandering about. My stomach churns as I stand at the entrance alone, gaze roaming the seating arrangement. I've never been the new student before. I have never felt so alone and displaced despite being around so many people, even though those surrounding me now are nothing more than strangers. I've never had to worry about something as silly as where I'll sit in the lunchroom at school. Everything back home was consistent; everything was always the same. I don't like all of this change. I don't like not knowing where I fit in–or if I even fit in at all.
I don't like the isolation that comes with standing in the middle of such a crowded space and feeling so alone.
I jump when I feel a tap on my shoulder. Whirling around on my heel, I don't know if I'm more surprised or not to find Haven staring right back at me.
"Hey," she chirps, smiling in that knowing way of hers that I'm starting to become accustomed to. I am unsure whether or not I should consider this closeness I feel to Haven as a blessing or curse.
"Hi," I return bashfully. Oncoming embarrassment hurdles my way. I don't want Haven to see me like this, standing by myself surrounded by hundreds of people. For some reason, I don't want her to see that I don't belong here. I want her to think that I am just like everyone else. I don't want her to look at me and see what I know to be true: that I am merely a broken shell of the girl I used to be, that I am miserable, that I have lost everything, that I come from the shitty side of town in a city she's probably never heard of. That I am nothing.
In her eyes, I want to be something.
Haven surveys the cafeteria, gazing beyond me. I follow her stare, taking in the cliques forming around the area and the tables filled with our peers. People laughing and gossiping, exchanging conversation easily. All the groups of people that know their place and fit in somewhere—none of which I belong to.
"Wanna get out of here?" Haven questions suddenly, startling me in more ways than one.
I hardly think she's serious. "Like, skip?" I ask. "Won't we–?"
Haven chuckles in amusement. "No, silly," she chides. "We can go sit in the courtyard."
I hesitate before responding. Once again, I find myself wondering why she's being so nice to me. Surely, she has to have a group of friends to sit with, a circle of her own peers that would not be complete without her presence. I'm certain she has multiple options as to how she could spend her lunch period, all of which must be better than sitting in the courtyard with the new girl.
I push my doubts to the side and follow after Haven regardless, allowing her to lead me through a side exit to the outdoors. The sun is blinding, casting a warm glow onto my skin that feels inviting. Haven takes a seat on the grass right beneath the sunshine, gesturing for me to do the same. With the glare from up above beating down on her, Haven's blond head looks like a golden halo. All of her features seem to stand out even more than before now that sunlight is bouncing off of her. She looks striking yet soft, an odd mixture that seems to suit her strangely well.
