𝗹𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 | 𝙗. 𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙙𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙬

gone |

(A/N):

Hey guys. It's been a while. A close friend of mine passed away this week, and I'm not sure what to do. This one is loosely based on "Soon You'll Get Better", but it's more of an outlet for the feelings I'm having. Today is his funeral, so if you pray, I need those prayers today. If you don't, please send good thoughts to me, my friends, and his family. We're hurting.

—————

"who am I supposed to talk to,
what am I supposed to do,
if there's no you?"

Bradley's POV |

It doesn't seem real. There's no way this can be happening. I was just with her. We had lunch together a few days ago, like we always do on Fridays. Did I tell her I loved her? I think I did. I usually do when we part. I know I hugged her. And that was the last time I'll ever feel her arms wrapped around me.

Hangman and I were at the grocery store picking up food for my date with (Y/N) Monday night when (Y/N)'s mom called me. I immediately had that bad gut feeling when I saw Mrs. (Y/L/N)'s name pop up on my phone. I answered with a simple "hello" before I heard uncontrollable sobbing. That's when I knew I was right.

She went on to tell me that (Y/N) had collapsed at work. She'd gone to make copies for the office and when her coworkers couldn't find her for a while, they found her in the copy room. The doctors had done all they could, but she was gone.

That's when I had to sit down in the middle of aisle four. I don't know that I'll ever be able to go to that Walmart again. I immediately starting crying and shaking. Hangman didn't ask what was wrong, he just sat beside me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder while I buried my head my hands. I felt so weak acting like this, but I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't go anywhere. And I certainly couldn't stop my tears.

It had to have been a good 10 minutes of sitting on the floor when Jake said we should go. I still had tears streaming down my face when he pulled me off the floor. I couldn't even feel the tears on my cheeks anymore; it's like in those 10 short minutes, they had become a permanent part of my face. My world had completely flipped in a matter of seconds.

Jake pushed the buggy to the front of the store while I trailed behind. He talked lowly to one of the cashiers before abandoning the cart and coming to stand beside me at the exit.

"Come on, man. Let's go. I'll drive."

I followed him out the door to my Bronco, fishing the keys out of my pocket to toss to him. We climbed in and rode silently back to my house where he told me he'd sleep on the couch so I wouldn't be alone. I walked to my room, laying on the bed and staring at the ceiling for hours. Sleep never came.

—————

It's Saturday now. The day that will forever be etched into my memory. Today is her funeral.

Tuesday I couldn't function. It seemed like the tears would be permanently tattooed on my skin.

Wednesday was odd. I couldn't cry. We had two candlelight services for her. The whole community showed up. Our small town is almost as devastated as I am. Everyone probably thought I was heartless. I couldn't even go up to the mic and say anything about her.

Thursday and Friday were a blur. I went to work like normal. There were still things to be done even though the world as I knew it had ended.

And here I am today. I've cried this morning.

I can't decide if I want to wear black to her service or her favorite color. She hated black. And anything remotely sad. She was always cracking jokes and making me smile and laugh, even when I didn't feel like it. She was the light of my life.

I don't know how I'll move on. I'm sure it'll be months before anything seems real again. I can't comprehend everything that's happened this past week. There have been bright patches. Hangman and Phoenix managed to cheer me up for a few hours with a surprise pancakes and movie night Thursday. Then they left and I was alone again. All the feelings came rushing back.

I'll wear pink. She always liked this shirt on me anyway. I'll go to the funeral today. I'll comfort her parents and siblings. I'll mourn for her. I'll talk about her and all of our memories. I may even write some down, just so I won't forget. I'll love her forever. And today I'll show that love to her one last time.

But then what?

» [750 words]