A lie so dangerous and fragile

CHAPTER TWO

Empty

THREE YEARS AGO

I tried to hold back the tears as I walked away from my best friend. I wished I could tell her this wasn't a vacation but a trip to hide the truth and a chance to wallow in my misery alone. I looked back at Belvina with tears blurring my sight. She was crying as she waved at me. Adrian stood behind her with a small smile and waved at me too.

I looked away, scared I would burst into tears and beg her to come with me. I couldn't do this alone. I wasn't strong enough to fight what lay ahead of me, but my feet kept moving, desperate to get away from this city that had tainted every good memory I'd made here.

For the past couple of weeks, I'd been faking smiles and trying to prove to everyone that I was strong and had moved on from what the Sanchesters had done to me, but it was all a facade to avoid everyone's pity. I'd seen the way they stared at me like I was a fragile neonate in constant need of monitoring.

I didn't know who to trust anymore. Suddenly, everyone was the enemy. Sometimes, I looked at Belvina and wondered if she would stab me behind the back like everyone close to me did. I found myself doubting my best friend's intentions. Maybe if I kept to myself, then I wouldn't get hurt again. Maybe if I moved to another country with a new identity and cut everyone off from my life, I would become the best version of myself.

I knew I was never going to get better, not now that I was pregnant with that monster's child. I believed the universe hated me and the pregnancy was to torment me for my stupidity—for falling in love when I should have exposed Tristan Sanchester right from the start and provided for myself with the money from the lawsuit I would have filed against him.

After I had discovered I was pregnant, I'd freaked out, especially with the media interested in everything going on in my life after the incident with the Sanchesters. I didn't want anyone to know about the baby. I'd found out two weeks after I left Adrian's place. I called Vina immediately after I got my things. She was mad at me at first for shutting her out.

We both agreed to rent an apartment. I stayed in a hotel for a couple of days before we found our dream apartment. I couldn't tell Vina about the pregnancy, so I decided to leave California. I told Vina I was going on vacation—a long vacation. She didn't question me. She'd only told me it was a good idea, that I needed it to clear my head and heal from what had happened.

I brushed the memories away and joined the line for check-in. I got my boarding pass and went through security screening. The security guards looked concerned as they stared at my puffy, wet face. I gave them a small smile and searched for my boarding gate.

I was suddenly terrified, more than I had been a few minutes ago, as I made my way to the plane. A part of me wanted to run away and return to the arms of my best friend, but I needed to be away from California, from Beverly Hills, and everyone who had destroyed me.

I needed to heal, but how could I do that with a baby?

I found my seat next to the window, just as I'd wanted. Belvina and I would have fought for the seat next to the window. We would have made a deal to switch seats quietly every hour, so we could each get to stare at the clouds and the picturesque landscape from up here.

I didn't feel anything as I stared outside after the plane made its way through the dark sky. There was a huge void within me, and I knew it would never be filled. I stared lifelessly at the darkness outside the window. It fit perfectly with what I was feeling inside. The darkness had swallowed every bit of light left in me.

I felt the tears burn my eyes. The heaviness in my chest suffocated me as I replayed what had happened. It intensified when I heard a baby crying from behind. How could I be a mother with all this pain, hatred, and rage? Would I even love the baby? Did I even want to be a mother?

The baby's cry got louder, and it made me agitated. I tapped my feet on the floor to ease the thickness in my chest. My hands started shaking, and I felt myself fighting for air.

I stood up and rushed to the restroom. I sighed in relief when I found it empty. I locked the door and slid to the floor. The tears made their way down my cheeks. I tried to suppress the sound, but my heavy sobs were beyond control. I was scared, angry, and alone. So broken that I hated my own reflection.

I couldn't do it.