Prolouge:
What if Snow White never got kissed by her handsome prince and brought back to life. What if Snow White became a zombie and got her revenge? You know what if Cinderella became some horrific monster that never got her happy ending, now she’s out for blood… What if Sleeping Beauty was actually an addict to meth and hallucinated so much, she sewed her own eyes together? You know I bet even Rapunzel has some dirty tricks up her sleeve.
The stories you are about to read more than likely won’t be suitable for young audiences. So please, I warn you now, for these stories won’t have that happy of an ending. Beware when reading. But I do hope that you enjoy… -Insert evil diabolical laugh here-. Hey don’t worry I’ll try to lighten the mood by adding some humor into it.
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves Revived….
My name is, like you have to ask, is Abigail White. But everyone just calls me Snow White, since my skin is just that, as white as snow. I used to be the fairest in all the land. But that was before Grimhilde, the evil queen of this land had me killed by eating an apple. Ha ha ha. Laugh all you want but this was no ordinary apple. It was poisoned by a hex the bitch of a queen Grimhilde put on it.
I knew there was something fishy about the old lady that gave me the apple. But sometimes hunger rules out suspicion and I gave in and bit the freakin apple. How could’ve I been so stupid as to believe this old women. Guys, a word or two of advice here, never talk or take things from old ladies with ugly warts on their noses. It leads to dying. Or, at least something very awful…
You’re probably wondering how I came to be like this, all flesh rotten and alive… Well the Huntsman is to blame for this. Who knew he had epic necromancer skills. Anyways he brought me back to life before I became dust and bones. He also brought back my seven darling dwarves. Lucky me… -insert swooning here- The Huntsman told me what been going since my tragic death and I wasn’t too happy. She married my prince and burned down/murdered all of my animal friends. Revenge was all I could think of, well that and some juicy bloody meat too. But that’s beside the point. Soon after the Huntsman told me had happened, my seven darlings’ and I ate him up, saving his heart for last. Which we decided not to eat, seeming that it’d be better to keep it as a trophy… My dwarves had become, oh I don’t know gremlin looking things now. They were my pets, my soldiers and they were going to help me tear down this foul land… But first, before I continue on my…. What’s the right word for this? Hmm… Hunt? I guess. I’m going to need to invest in some leashes for my little gremlin monster dwarves.
I found some ropes a mile up the road, so I decided it would have to work till I found something more badass and, tied each seven of them. Then I held on to the end of each rope like they were my dogs. We headed up the road once more till we came to the old little cottage that the dwarves called sanctuary.
Once inside, I went over to the oval mirror that hung just above the fireplace, and looked at my reflection. I defiantly wasn’t the fairest of them all anymore. But with my looks these days, I could probably pull it off. An evil grin stretched across my face as I thought of all the shrieks and horror stricken faces I’d see soon.
Just then the youngest of the dwarves tugged on my tattered moth eaten dress. I looked down and grinned a mouthful of canines and held up what had killed me. The poisoned apple. I smiled and said thanks and took it from him remembering everything that happened that day. I took a bite of the apple loving the taste of death and decay trickle down to my hollow stomach. Now I know what you all must be thinking, Trust me I would think I've gone mad too but, sorry to say I haven't. at least not yet.
After I was done with tha apple, I decided to find the queen and give her what she desereved... A taste of her own medicine -insert evil laugh here-. Still not crazy. The dwarves and I grabbed a basket and we headed out to the apple orchard. We picked the very best ones then, we headed back to the little cottage.We placed the apples in some poisonus chemicals we found under the sink. I then hid my true identiy just like the evil queen did (only I was a man this time around) and I headed out to where the queen's castle lies.
