I heard knocking from outside of my bedroom door and I scramble towards the audio player to press,
Pause.
The door opens and Mike peeks in, his face filled with worry. "Yo, I heard you screaming." he tells me. "Everything alright over here?"
"Yeah," I lie, not realizing how out of breath I was. I knew I was having a mild panic attack, but I didn't want my brother to know so I do my best to steady my breathing. Mike stares at me for a few seconds, obviously not believing my answer. I can see his gaze fall on the audio player as he studies it curiously.
"Is that what's in the box?" he asks me.
I look to where the audio player was, acting like I didn't know it was there the whole time. "Oh, that?" I force my voice to sound casual. "Yeah, I guess."
"Who was it from?" he pushes.
I shrug my shoulders noncommitally as I look on the floor. I hated lying, and I hated lying to Mike of all people. I know he knew when I'm not being truthful.My little brother stares at me for a few seconds, making me feel uncomfortable. "I'm fine, Mike." I can't help but notice I was starting to get irritated. "It's nothing. Really."
He slowly nods, unconvinced, and turns around to leave. "You know I'm always here for you, Vic." he reminds me before shutting the door, not giving me a chance to reply. I wasn't sure what I was going to reply to that anyway.
I breathe a sigh of relief, but that relief was gone the moment I turned my gaze back to the audio player. My hands begin to tremble as I pick it up again, too scared to press Play.
What at the fuck is going on? I ask myself, my mind is racing. Is this some kind of a sick joke?
Play.
"I bet you're asking, 'Is this some kind of a sick joke?'" her voice resonated through the speakers, and I laugh humorlessly at how she always managed to say what's on my mind.
"And you're welcome to think that. You're welcome to do whatever you want with this recording, honestly. What am I going to do about it, right? I'm already six feet under."
Pause.
I can't.
I could feel tears sting my eyes as I cover my mouth to stifle a sob. It took me months to get out of bed when she left. I couldn't eat; I couldn't sleep, and I refused to see anybody when they came to check up on me. It took me so much time before I could stop thinking about her.
Now it's all coming back to fucking haunt me again.
My chest tightens as I look around me, and I could feel the walls start to close in. I can't stay here, I decide as I make a hasty grab for the earphones and plug it into the audio player, my hands terribly shaking.
I knew I should stop listening. I could just chuck this in the trash and end all of this suffering. I could go on with my life and pretend again that I never fell in love with a hurricane like her.
But instead, I raise the headphones to my ears, letting my heart ache as I press,
Play.
"So, go ahead. Throw it in the trash, burn it, and let everyone know about it. I don't care." I could hear her give a shaky sigh before she continued. "I'm done expecting anybody to treat me or anything associated with me with respect."
But I always have, I thought bitterly as I leave my bedroom and headed downstairs. Mike was already gone, and I could guess he already went to his room because the television was off.
I've always made sure to let her know she mattered. Was it not enough?
Was I not enough?
"But I," her voice broke and she sobbed for a few seconds. Hearing her in so much pain broke my heart, and I swallow the lump in my throat. "I want to leave my story. I want the few people that cared about me to know why I did what I did. I want to leave proof that I fucking existed, even when nobody cares, or all of you would have moved on or forgotten about me already."
I lock the door once I step outside, letting the cold wind assault me as I walk toward the bus stop.
"So, without further ado... Let's get started."
Stop.
"Six feet under, I can't help but wonder,
If our grave was watered by the rain...
Will roses bloom?
Could roses bloom?"
YOU ARE READING
Vic Fuentes x Olivia Perry: Darling, You'll Be Okay.
FanfictionOn the 29th of April, Tony Perry lost her sister, Mike Fuentes and Jaime Preciado their bestfriend, and Vic Fuentes her girlfriend to suicide. Creating the band, Pierce the Veil, was just a way to help themselves get over her death. That was, until...