Resistance (Sam Woolf Fan-Fiction)

Chapter 2: Shattered Glass

SAMS POV

I just wanted to be able to forget it all. Forget her, what we had, the way her hair smelled like vanilla after she showered. I wanted to forget the way her head fits perfectly in the crook of my neck when I'm holding her. I wish I could forget all the screaming and crying and the pain, but I can't. It seems like it'll always be there. It doesn't ever leave me.

"I don't love you anymore." Her words sting at my heart causing so much pain I think it might rupture.

"I just want this to end. I want all of this to end." I say to myself. The sound slightly echoes through the empty house. After I shattered my phone, Alex left to go to the studio. He really tries to be supportive, he tries to understand where I'm at emotionally, but I know he can't. He's happy with Jill and I'm....I'm broken.

"I want to escape." I whisper quietly, despite the fact that no one is there to hear me otherwise.

Desperately, I tear myself from my bed and make my way down the stairs and into the kitchen. In the chaos that's running through my mind, I trip on the hem of my flannel pajama bottoms and quickly recover before falling. They're slightly long on me and I should probably not wear them, but they're the ones Lil liked.

My mind feels like it's going a mile a minute. All of my anger and frustration fills my body and desperately begs to be released. I should've moved on by now. Any normal person would have by now, but she's Lil. She's my best friend and the love of my life. I can try to fill that void with Emily for as long as possible, but at the end of the day that spot in my heart will always belong to Liliana. It always will.

My eyes nervously scan the countertops. I spend about a second longer staring at the knife stand then anything else in the room. Quickly, I shake the thoughts from my mind and make my way to the fridge. Pulling it open, I'm relieved to see a six pack of beer on the bottom shelf. Sometimes, living with a twenty-one year old had its perks. I'm not much of a drinker, but lately I seem to be indulging in the activity more and more often. I grip my hand onto the handle of the pack and make my way I into the family room. There I sit in complete science, my only company a bottle.

I think about how much as changed, how different I am. During tour I didn't feel this much loneliness. It was different people, different cities every night. There was no familiarity. Of course I missed her terribly on tour, but at the same time I didn't miss her nearly as much as I do now. My head begins to feel fuzzy and I know I'm getting drunk,but I don't care. I take a long drink from the bottle in my hand and place the empty container next to the couch.

Time seems to pass slowly as I crack open my sixth and final bottle. I don't even comprehend what I'm doing. But I can see her face as I take a long swig. The pain, the endless pain that never seems to subside creeps into my chest as the front door cracks open and Alex walks in. I thought if I drank enough I would be able to forget, but now it's all I can think about.

"Sam! I've been calling you for the last hour....wait are to drunk?" The grow concern paints on Alex's face as he looks at me intently.

Suddenly, it hits me how pathetic I'm begin and I can't help but laugh. The laughter echoes through the house and shakes through my every nerve. However, Alex doesn't even smile, he just stand there with a look of terror on his face.

"Sam give me the beer." He demands in a harsh tone.
"No"
"Sam, hand it over." He says gripping the bottle.
"Alex, why are you being such an ass?" I ask annoyed.
"Sam give me it." He tugs at the bottle slightly. I pull back harder, ripping it from his grasp.
Quickly I finish the last of it and stand up to meet him.

"This needs to stop!" He screams. "You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself! It's done! She's gone! She doesn't want you! Be a man and get over it! I know you love her but you've had more than enough time! She's moved on! So should you!"

Running my hands through my hair, I face the opposite direction and attempt to collect my anger. But the frustration spews out of my like lava. "You don't think I know that!" I scream back. "God Dammit Alex, do you even know what it's like to have someone leave you for no reason? Do you even understand what that's like!"

"No reason? Sam you fucking cheated on her with the girl you're sleeping with to get over her! Don't you realize how fucked that is?"

Instantly my blood boils over and I hurl the bottle at the wall behind him. The glass shatters against the dry wall and falls to the ground. He stares at me for a moment with a blank expression on his face.

"Who even are you?" He whispers.

I don't answer, I just push past him and walk out the door.