𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 - Mason Thames

16 ", Pain & Guilt"

[As the world caves in]
Matts Maltese
0:35 ━❍──────── -3:40
  ◁◁ II ▷▷
[ Irl, Twitter ]

Olivia's pov:

Actorunreadnews: hello my followers, I have a huge scoop. The actor and actress Jacob and Olivia Morgan's father passed away 5 days ago. I do not have information on the cause but it is true.

Masonthamesofficial: I don't think they would like that in fort Marion being spread it's very personal.

Bradyhepner: why do people feel the need to post about this. It's alright if your sending condolences but this.. this is de-humanizing.

Madeleinemcgraw: please take this post down. The family doesn't want anything like this on social media for the time being.

Tristanpravong: that's wrong man, why post this? what did you gain? Popularity. that's disgusting.

Miguel_cazarezmora: If they wanted the world to know they would have posted about it.  It would be best to take it down.

* This tweet had been deleted *

I felt my eyes tear up yet again. It had been like this all day. I would come out of my room and act all happy when they were home but when they all left to film it would just over take me.

I couldn't help but keep thinking and repeating

'what if I was there?'
'Would he still be alive?'
'Could I have saved him.'
'why didn't I stop this'

The guilt was becoming overwhelming for me. It was eating me inside, the pain I felt was unbearable. It was worse than when my grandfather passed away. I had so many memories with him. He may have not been around a lot, I still had vague memories of him and I like they were yesterday.

*flashback*

"daddy, daddy come here!!" I screamed pointing at a beautiful monarch butterfly. "Isn't it pretty?" I smiled crouching down to look at it. "Yes it is sweetheart! Do you know the name of this butterfly?" he asked pointing to it. "Monarch butterfly obviously!" I smiled widely.

"Good job sweetheart! I have a idea how about we go get ice cream and go to the arcade tomorrow so we can spend time together before I leave." My father said reminding me of the moment I didn't want to come. "Yes but I don't you to go." I began to sulk crossing my arms.

"I'm sorry sweetheart but I have too, Daddy need to make money to support you and your brother." he smiled grabbing my hand away from my arm. "I know but why do you have to be gone so much?" I pouted once again.

"Because my job requires me to travel around a lot. Maybe one day you'll understand that." He said slightly smiling. We continued to talk the whole way over to the ice cream truck. "Hello" the ice cream said with a huge smile on his face.

"Hmm I'll take a medium chocolate in a bowl, sweetie what about you?" My father asked me. "Me too papa!! I want chocolate too!" I jumped up and down. "Alright, One small chocolate bowl!" My father smiled. As I walked to the side to wait for our ice cream I said something unexpected.

"Papa, when I grow up I want to be just like you!"

my eyes bright and a huge smile all over my face. My fathers eyes widened before softening and bringing me into a hug. "Of course sweetie." he said before going to get our ice creams

*back to present*

My brain has been replaying memories all day that I hasn't remembered or pushed away. That memory hurt more than the others.

It made me remember how when I was little I wanted to be just like papa, I was my papas little girl. The pain and guilt I feel for not being with my father and preventing this is indescribable.

I want to just go back in time and reverse it all. Reverse him leaving, him dying. Everything. I may had not spoke to him a lot after the incident but he was still my father. I let out a harsh sigh before cuddling back under my covers in my clothes I haven't changed out of in 5 days.

I grabbed the photo I had taken from my bathroom and placed on my nightstand into my hands. I looked at my father and I and began to sob. It was all my fault that he's dead. I could have been there with him. I could have prevented it.

'Why. Why did this need to happen. WHY.' I screamed in my head. 'How could this happen. Why did this happen.' I thought once again. I hated myself for letting this happen again. I had put the photo back up and began staring at my ceiling continuing to think about it when a knock was heard at my door.

I sighed knowing it was one of my 'roomates' checking on me hourly to make sure I wasn't dead. If I was being honest I had only eaten a few crackers these past few days and had been filling my water bottle with tap water from my bathroom. I hadn't showered, changed it even been on social media.

I didn't want to have to see all of the people talking about it or people giving there condolences even though they don't give two shits if my father is alive or dead.

I continued to ignore the door the rest of the day. I had fallen asleep for i don't know how long and was only woken up by a knock. It was her again a hourly check in. I ignored it and tried laying my head back down to sleep before I heard arguing.

"WHY CANT WE GET HER TO COME OUT." I heard a male voice yell. "Its not working because we aren't forcing her too." Another deeper male voice nearly like Miguel's spoke.

"I don't know anything else that can get her to come out. She was less stubborn before." I heard my brother say. The last thing I heard before zoning out and blacking out was.

"If she wont come she'll die."

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