I'm not depressed, and I don't like labels, I don't want to fit into any sort of category, once I do, I'll research about it, and start acting the way I'm supposed to be according to stereotypes, I like to behave in a way I feel is right, though it may not always be the correct answer, at least it's what I wanted.
I think of death to be peaceful, and I think about it every day, whenever my mind is free of other things, I'm not actively looking for it, I work hard when I want to, and I rest when I want to, I don't want to end my life, because there are a lot of things I need to accomplish, a lot of burdensome things, but a few of them are what I desire, and I desire to reach that part of my life when I'm finally fulfilled, though, I don't think I'll ever be.
Humans are greedy creatures by instinct, is what people say, I don't think it's all people certainly, but I'm certainly greedy, there are a lot of things I hope for and if I find them, I'll hope for more, but the way I live my life doesn't reflect my ambition to own more, if I can just make a living out of writing, that would be the greatest pleasure of all, but I can't do that, I'm not allowed to, and until I'll finally be able to reach that goal, I can't die.
"If a truck was heading toward you, and you had no way of escaping it, how would you feel?" My answer was at peace; even if I'm not trying to end my life, if the end were to come, I'd be happy, happier than now perhaps, I'm not well, and I'm not unwell, I don't need help, I'm just there, I just exist.
