insecurities

1

"I'm sorry Jungkook, please forgive me." I said to my husband who was driving the car aggressively , his veins were showing at this point, he was angry at me.
"Don't say anything yn!" He yelled as I shut my mouth, I understood it was my fault but my insecurities were eating me up and that resulted in me acting like that.
He was angry at me but I had a lot to explain.

Flashback
Jungkook and I came to the hospital today for my check up as i was pregnant, I'm in my 8th month of pregnancy and due to sudden physical and hormonal changes i feel low and insecure lately. Jungkook has always been a great and supportive husband but I could not make myself share my insecurities with him as I was embarrassed. We were talking to my doctor and after a check up , I asked my doctor if I could personally talk to her so she said yes, I wanted to discuss some things with her alone about my health.
As we finished talking, i stood up from the seat , jungkook was waiting for me outside but when i left the cabin i saw jungkook standing and talking with a girl , her hand was resting on jungkook's shoulder and jungkook was holding her other hand.

I got furious, maybe because of hormones and my insecurities about myself were like cherry on top. I went towards them and yanked her hands away from my husband's shoulder and shouted,"so you're cheating on me." I said and slapped that girl , "I know people like you." I was about to say more but my husband stopped me and shouted, "she is my cousin yn!" I was numb after hearing that and immediately regretted my actions.
He shook his head in disappointment and left the place and I apologized to his cousin.

Jungkook and I were high school sweethearts , became friends, fell in love , and got married. His family loved me while mine loved him too. After a year of marriage we decided to take a step ahead in our relationship and decided to become parents. He always loved kids and the same goes for me , I love kids and our happiness got doubled when we got to know that we are having a baby girl, jungkook always wanted our first child to be a girl as according to him girls are really lucky for the family and intelligent, so he always said that she will be a daddy's girl.

Now, the thing is , i was grown up in a family where i have seen my father cheating on my mom , and because of that i couldn't believe in love or men but when i met jungkook, i told him everything as a friend and when he proposed me , i denied because of my fears but he made sure that he will be different from my dad. But some fears and insecurities never go away. No matter how hard we try , we pretend to forget them but they stay within us.
Same happened to me today when I saw Jungkook with that woman. My father was a bad husband but never a bad Father.
I hated him as the husband of my mom but I loved him as a dad because he always worked hard and did everything for me.
No matter how bad he is , I can never forget his struggles. And Jungkook knew about this.