Fallen Angels

Chapter 25

My thoughts,

are stars

I can't

fathom

into

constellations - John Green

November 2:

Offically I am now 40 weeks pregnant with my beautiful baby girl in my stomach. Yes it's offical. It's a girl and her name is going to be Angel. I have so much baby fat on me I am wondering if this baby is going to be 12 pounds (which I definitely hope not).

So at the moment I am driving Drew's car to support group since I havent seen them for the past few months as I have practically hid from the light of the sun and stayed in the house. Luke's hanging out with two of his mates for the next 4 days camping so I thought "why don't I hang out with my friends?" so that is why I am dressed in black leggings and a oversized sweater.

I parked the car in my favourite parking spot and got out the car and locked it. I walked to front door and opened it leading into the building. I walk slowly to the corner and watch everyone doing their little speech of "Hello my name is... and I have this problem...." and blah blah blah. I smiled as I saw Dia falling asleep on Steven's shoulder. I'm pretty sure Dia went out partying until 5am this morning. I silently giggled and then saw that Steven was trying to stare at me like he was trying to focus but it seemed to be bother him.. like he his internal blindness was trying to take over or something. Nick the "group leader" saw me from the corner of his eye and suddenly thought it was nice to make everyone notice my appearance.

"Hope!!"

He said with a smile on his face which I try to return welcoming as possible. He ashes me to join in the circle which I did to be respectful. I grabbed the chair from the side and sit next to Steven - as always. I realized there was less of us in the circle and it just suddenly felt depressing.

"So Hope how have you been?"

Nick asks as he looked at my stomach and just kept starring. I moved in my seat a little which makes him look away and make it less akward for myself.

"Some days are okay and some days are hard.."

I say looking down at my stomach fiddling with my thumps.

"So for the past few months I have been dealing with a lot of crazy crap in my life. I fell in love for the first time and got pregnant without even knowing until a doctor tells me after being asleep in a hospital bed. I almost died twice, my Mother almost died but somehow she managed to be in a coma and then suddenly wakes up and tries to strangle her daughter to death because she has memory loss. Turning 17 and then my sister Natalie also got married in Bali during the crisis of my Mother. She drove off the London Bridge and the doctors believe she was dragged out of the water underneath but we still aren't able to really believe that as there is no witnesses or evidence really. She's alive and she is a monster."

I said looking down at my wrists- my scars.

"And now I will be having my baby soon within' a matter of days."

I put my hand on my belly and feel her kick. I smiled as I felt everyone stare.

"You deserve the happiness in your life Hope, not the darkness."

I looked up and gave Zara a smile. Nick and the rest of the group give me soft smiles. I thanked them as they decided to fill me in a little on what has happened in the past few months while I was absent. Apparently one of the young girls- Ella thought she bet her brain cancer - but to only be rang up by the doctor to say the cancer is beating her and there's no stopping it. She's only got a few days to live and the support group want to give her a little party although it does seem rude but it isn't when you have cancer - believe me its like the best few hours of your life having your closet friends with you and your family. Now because its Monday already and Ella has only until pretty much the end of this week - Friday to be exact. The group and I have decided to throw the party tomorrow night on a Tuesday so she is able to have time with her family and relatives before she goes to heaven. Many people believe that either there is a hell or a heaven but I believe there is both. Hell for the pricks and heaven for the angels and innocents.

Dia and I drove to the shops to get decorations for Ella's party for tomorrow night while Zara and Nick are looking at recipes - and I swear hopefully Zara is in more incharge than Nick because Nick is just too out of control when it comes to recipes and cooking. The rest of the group are trying to get everyone that cares for Ella at the party without it being obvious to Ella as it is a surprise party.

"Hope could Steven and I stay at yours for awhile? since we came home from our little holiday to see the rest of the family they have become.. weird like I feel like they are taking pot and crap because the house literally stinks."

I looked at Dia and smiled.

"Of course Dia! you and Steven can always sleep over mine!.. I wouldn't really feel comfortable if my besties are living with parents taking drugs.. They can get abusive at times and I don't want that happening to you nor Steven."

She looked from the pink and green decorations from her hand to me and smiled.

"You always were the overprotective unbiological sister for Steven and I."

"I'd do anything for you guys."

I said smiling and hugged Dia as everyone in the store just stared at us.