River & Desert

Part 36

The light filtered through her long eyelashes, causing a throbbing pain in her heavy head. She let out a groan as she tried to get her bearings with regard to time, place, and person. Her search for her baby turned frantic until she found herself staring at her foster mother.

"You're awake! Doctor said you would not be out of it for another hour!" she said.

By following the nurse's directions, she helped her beloved daughter sit up by pressing the buttons. Pushpa's morose expressions led Mitali to conclude that she was facing a difficult situation.

"Do you need something? Water? Should I call the nurse?" asked Pushpa.

"My baby. Where is my baby? Is my baby fine?" asked Mitali. Her mother's potential reaction could not keep her from voicing her worry.

With a tired breath from her dry lips, Pushpa settled on the chair next to the bed.

"It is a girl. She was born early, so they will have to keep her in the glass boxes for a while. She will be out soon, according to Mr. Sinha. Maybe in a couple of weeks."

A pregnant silence fell between the two women. Before giving the sedative, the doctor had already informed Mitali about it. A tempest of questions raged in their minds, yet they couldn't find the courage to voice them. Their hearts were heavy, weighed down by remorse and agony.

The mother couldn't stand the silence anymore and her immense concern for her foster daughter finally found its way out of her dry throat.

"I know the answer. It sounds so stupid to ask this, but he isn't your husband, is he?" asked Pushpa.

Guilt etched into her features, Mitali turned to her mother. She shook her head in the negative. She held back from uttering the words that would cause her mother great disappointment.

Worry lines appeared on Pushpa's forehead as she nodded in understanding, her eyebrows furrowed in thought. "I cannot help but ask this. Do you love him? Does he love you?"

Mitali's troubled mind drifted back to the night when Adhrit had expressed his passionate love for her in the most uplifting way.

"Our belief in each other is unwavering, regardless of our lack of belief in love or marriage, isn't it? Why can't that be enough?"

Why was it not enough? She trusted the man with her life and he never gave her a reason to question his trustworthiness. He had become her savior after the unholy night of their supposed intimacy before the first artificial insemination attempt.

Love. This emotion was not new to her, but those she loved either left her or made her heart heavier. Memories in her mind and a heavy heart were all that remained of her parents, foster father, and first child, despite her love for them.

She had loved her brother, Anurag, too. That granted him the authority to pressure her into surrogacy. And her dear Amma, Pushpa. The woman who epitomized unconditional love for her. However, it was the very same bond that drove her to give up her deepest desires.

Love was the boulder that dragged her into the abyss of desolation. And Adhrit Sinha? Adhrit Sinha was her lifeboat. Her savior. The river to her desert. Her love held her back, but Adhrit helped her break free. Love had been her downfall, but Adhrit Sinha was the one to lift her up.

In what way could she link him and their connection to something that caused her to drown? Could she ever trust anyone, including herself, if she couldn't trust the one who saved her from the abyss of darkness and despair? She did, and it was enough for her.

It was not enough for her mother, and she knew it. Therefore, she presented a mirage that Pushpa could grasp instead of the ocean beyond her comprehension.