Things of a lonely girl

The devil pt.1

He was a friend, a good friend. He made me feel comfortable, he made laugh and he made me to trust him. He was a nice friend, that type of friend who always listens to you. The one you can lean on when you’re sad. We have a little affair, I thought that he could be, maybe, the one for me. Fool me.

We were spending three days per week with each other. We would watch anime together, or play video games. That’s when we started doing things. I wasn’t really prepared to have something serious so I told him that since the beginning. I could see he was falling in love with me so I decided to end up this little affair and just to be friends. He told me that he didn’t want to stop, that’s he was ok about what we had and that he didn’t expect anything more. We continue doing that one more month. He was telling me everyday he wanted me to fall in love with him, that he loved me and that I was the one he was searching for. I told him again that I wanted to stop doing intimate things and that I just wanted him as a friend. To be honest, I liked him physically, but he always was a reminder piece of what I was running of. We stopped doing those things, we kept as friends but on the other side, he was trying to turn back time. I have numerous talks with him about this. I told him I didn’t like him and that I would never feel something more for him than just friendship. He kind of understood it and he finally told me he didn’t like me anymore. Fool me.

On December we were doing just fine as friends. Until he discovered that I was starting to feel something for another guy. We had an argument where he told me that I lied to him about not wanting to have a relationship. I told him that I still didn’t want it and that I was only meeting this guy but I have some feelings for this x person. But why was he mad about the fact that I liked another person? Because he lied to me and still wanted me to fall in love with me. I started to rethink some of his doings. He was buying things that he knew I wanted, he was trying to change things I didn’t like about him, he got tattoos, etc. He was trying hard to make me like him. In this argument I told him I wanted to stop being friends with him but he begged me to not do it and once again he swore that he would be just a friend. Fool me.

On January, we didn’t see each other as much as we used to as I have my university exams at he end of the corner. I remember that one day that we were at the bus stop. We were hanging in my house. He laid in my bed with me and tried to hug me but I broke the hug. I told him to go to the living room and we sat on the sofa.  We were just laughing, and I tickled him. He did it back but he was getting close to me and I then noticed he had an erection. I stopped laughing and tickling him, I told him it was late and hat he had to go. We went together to the bus stop and asked me one thing that really pissed me off. His brother’s girlfriend told him to kiss suddenly without my consent. In that moment the bus came and I told him to get that one. Via WhatsApp I told him I didn’t want to have any physical contact with him as I told him multiple times that we were just friends and I liked another person. He said this specifically “I won’t touch if you’re not comfortable with it, but I’m trying to be friends with you without anything weird”. I believed once again in his words and I don’t know why. I just needed a friend, I needed someone that could save me from that darkness I was feeling. I thought he could help me. Fool me.