Katsuki felt warm. A tingle in his numb knees, his brain infested by the soft lull of sleep, his scalp well massaged, and his ears full of sweet words.
All of these warmed him to the core. A feeling so deep, ingrained in his heart, his memory, that he could feel nothing else. No anger, no sadness, no betrayal, no abandonment, no bitterness, and no self hatred.
He didn't have to be perfect, the set example for people, he could just exist.
Feeling small and gooey, Katsuki barely noticed when his boyfriend scooped up his puddle of emotions and moved them to a more comfortable surface. The bed.
Katsuki had no memory of when Izuku had crossed the apartment or when he had opened the door to the bedroom, his mind rebooted only when he felt the kneading on his legs. Izuku, Master, was massaging his sore legs back into feeling, treating his skin and muscles like a good piece of dough.
That's what Katsuki was, an uncooked lump of ingredients to be molded into adulthood. The pressure to become an outstanding loaf, with the right balance of a crisp crust and tender interior created a tough mold that would never allow for a soft bread. But here, in Izuku's arms, with those magnificently strong and trained hands, he could let himself be, let his Master shape him into whatever he wanted.
Sometimes the emotion leaking out scared him. That was okay though, he could express his feelings here because he knew his lover wouldn't judge him, rather he embraced him with his whole being.
"Katsuki, love."
His drowsy eyes opened barely halfway to focus on his partner. The hum that left Katsuki's throat a mere whisper compared to the white noise in his head.
"I'm glad you're feeling better baby, but we still have to discuss some things." Izuku's sweet reminder of his mistakes throughout the day soured his peace. He had been bad, not listening to instructions and thinking his Master had left him behind.
Izuku caught the whimper that left the blonde's throat, "Sh sh, it's okay love, we can bring this up later I don't want to make you feel upset. We know you were a bit naughty today but that's alright. Just needed the guidance of your master, huh? It was my fault for leaving my poor pet all by himself for such a long time." Izuku's tone condescending and pouty, "My poor little pet, just a baby that doesn't know what to do with himself without his master."
Katsuki whimpered, embarrassed by the words. Although he knew his Master was right, he had forgotten his place and his training. The world was just too much sometimes and Katsuki didn't know how to cope. He needed the guidance and security that Izuku provided. Without a firm hand, it was easy for him to drift off and feel lost. The constant doubts circling in his head of him not being good enough, as a lover, a friend, a son, and a student. Could he even become a hero?
Izuku always reminded him that he could and encouraged him to embrace every part of himself, even the ugly bits of his personality, just like his master did. Master loved every part of him, and the parts that needed to be worked, they would both do together.
"You with me Katsuki?" The blond heard the voice of his dom and came back to the present. "Hey baby, there you are! Where were you?"
Katsuki knew what this meant and what Master expected of him. "I just drifted." Kat spoke, his voice hoarse from the lack of use. Midoriya looked at him disappointed. Bakugo knew, he knew that honesty is all that Sir required, but even then, it was difficult for him to admit where his mind went. He knew he would not suffer any punishments for his thoughts, but he was still weary of letting down his master who tried so hard to discourage those thoughts and make Katsuki see himself in the golden light that his lover saw him in.
"Kacchan, are you lying to me?" Midoriya's voice became stern as he addressed his sub once more. He knew the blond was not being truthful with him and this made him sad more than anything because he thought they had reached a point where Katsuki could trust him with anything.
The blond could not hold eye contact with his master, no longer in the bliss subspace, but rather surfacing to be more alert and flee if needed. Running was never something he had to do with Izuku, but his mind betrayed him, he needed to be ready for anything, he could not let his guard down. What if Master was mad? What if he didn't want him anymore? Was he too much work? In all that lost time, what if Master found someone more obedient than him? He couldn't be abandoned first! He needed to leave before he could get hurt.
Seeing his sub spiraling into sub-drop, Midoriya held the blond close to him. Applying pressure to his chest and containing his arms so that Bakugo wouldn't try to fight and injure himself.
With his head in the crook of Izuku's neck and his arms trapped between both of their chests, Katsuki struggled for a while more until the pressure of the hug seemed to calm his panicked heart. His mind once again quieted down, feeling safe in his Master's arms once more.
Izuku began to massage Katsuki's nape and apply gentle pressure in rhythmic pulses to the side of his neck. All of the sudden, his pet went limp against him like a kitten being held by their mother by the back of their neck.
The blonde's breaths evened out and he began to drift back into the comfort of his subspace. Master's voice resonated in his ears and chest as the vibrations of his voice surrounded him, "You are okay Kacchan. I got you. I'm right here. I won't leave."
Once Midoriya was sure Katsuki was thoroughly soothed, he laid him back down on the bed and continued his ministration of massages on the small body. He began talking once more, "Katsuki, you need to be honest with me. I am not upset, but you need to tell me what is upsetting you. We can work it out together, promise." His master insisted.
Katsuki still couldn't hold eye contact but began to speak, "It's just been so long, and the first thing I do is be disobedient and disrespect you in front of all those people." His voice was so soft, Izuku had to lean in to hear him. "What if you found someone more obedient than me? What if you don't want me anymore? I am too much of a hassle and I never learn." Tears welled up in his eyes and the irritated skin around the eyes made the crimson of his irises become more prominent.
Izuku moved up the bed to be closer to Katsuki's head and held his face with two large hands. He then leaned down and began peppering butterfly kisses all over the blonde's cheeks and eyelids. "Kat, you are so perfect, I could never find someone better. I love you so, so much. I love every single part of you, even the occasional battiness. I love growing with you and learning new things with you. You are not a hassle, you are doing so well and have grown so much. I am so proud of you baby."
The tears finally fell from the submissive's eyes and were immediately kissed away by his dom. Izuku was proud of him. Proud. Not disappointed, or angry, or irritated. Just proud. Katsuki loved him. He had missed him so much. His dom always knew what to say and do to make Katsuki feel better.
"I know it's been a while, I'm sorry for that, and I knew it was going to take some time to get back into our routine, but I don't blame you for it." Izuku spoke as he straightened back up to look fully at his love. "We are going to have to do something about your actions earlier, but it's okay love. This is how we learn, and I would never want you to stop being your bratty self for anything. We just work around it, huh?" He smiled that big grin that Katsuki loved, showing all his teeth and scrunching his eyes. Bakugo loved his dom. Loved the structure that he provided and the love that exuded from every pore in his body.
"Yes Sir." Katsuki replied with a small smile of his own, satisfied with the realization that they loved each other and could re-learn their dynamic after so long. Satisfied.
