SpongeBob rounded the corner of yet another boulder. He'd trekked to the outskirts of Bikini Bottom, to a seemingly abandoned area at the bottom of the cliffs. Up above at Makeout Reef was a different story, but there was nearly half a mile of towering rock between him and that hormone-laced ecosystem.
He was looking for the infamous lair of EVIL - otherwise known as Every Villain is Lemons. SpongeBob didn't understand the 'lemon' part but that wasn't his current concern. He'd heard from Plankton who heard from Mr. Krabs who heard from Squidward who heard from Patrick who heard from Sandy who heard from Larry who heard from the mailman who heard from the nurse who heard from Barnacle Boy who heard from Mermaid Man who heard from the Atomic Flounder that the Dirty Bubble was dead. Popping was the apparent cause of death.
Of course, going through that many people meant it was only hearsay. SpongeBob wouldn't believe it until he found out for himself. He would be shocked if the rumor was true, as he'd seen the Dirty Bubble, healthy as someone that unsanitary could be, just three days ago. 'He just can't be dead,' thought SpongeBob.
At the foot of one of the cliffs he spied the odd structure: an opening into the rock's wall with a hand written sign that spelled out the meaning of the name's acronym. Surrounding the entrance were a couple baskets of what appeared to be lemons.
SpongeBob curiously picked up one of the fruits, wondering why they even bothered with a front when it was quite obviously a secret hideout. Why else would a 'lemon stand' be in such a deserted area? Not only that, but the group used to proudly announce their name, trying to garner a reputation. Why go through the extra work of putting up a front for the place - especially one that didn't even make sense?
Upon inspection, SpongeBob discovered the lemons weren't real. They were wax fruit. In fact, some weren't even fake lemons. SpongeBob was curiously looking over a baseball spray painted yellow when he heard the voice.
"You there! Drop the fruit!"
SpongeBob dropped the ball (literally) and turned around. He was met with the familiar barrel of a blue, metallic gun pointed squarely at his face. But SpongeBob didn't cower at the sight of the weapon; instead he immediately started to gush like a fanboy.
"Wow! I've seen that weapon before!" he exclaimed cheerfully. "The Super Ray Blaster 4.0 with photon laser power and four different brain-frying settings from episodes 302, 405, 908, and mentioned in 603!"
Man Ray pulled the gun back, giving the weapon a couple proud pats. "Oh, you noticed? It is a pretty nice one, isn't it?" he asked, his tone changed to an almost giddy one.
"Boy, is it! It's a total classic! I didn't think there were any working ones left."
"I'm so glad you like it," said Man Ray, his voice returning to its normal harshness. "Because now I won't feel so bad about shooting you with it."
"Huh?"
SpongeBob heard three empty clicks as the old weapon stalled, then finally a loud ZAP. That's all he remembered before everything went black.
